Social commitment - Too scary!
thechameleon
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 1 Jun 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 61
Location: South Australia
I've just realised that I'm a commitment-phobe. I've slowly started socially committing to less and less since childhood.
I'm stuck at work-mates with a lot of good people because committing to anything scares the s**t out of me.
"You on facebook?"-work-mate Adding someone on facebook opens me up to them seeing me say something silly now or in the past, or being blocked, or being embarrassed by how many people I have added, or by...So many things! - (this simply being an example.) I somehow work the fear levels higher and higher until I'm just too damned scared to commit to anything, then I start veering the conversations to safer topics, anything that doesn't pressure me.
Doing this completely destroys the bridge from acquaintance to proper friend.
It seems like I've been blinded to just how bad I've been getting, socially.
Have any of you had this kind of problem, or have any kind of advice?
Idk if I can help in the general sense. I have never had issues with committing to something, as I usually feel distanced from everyone anyways. I have not really had a serious girlfriend so I lack experience there as well, but the idea of commitment doesn't really bother me.
Do you 'feel' like social commitment is scary? Or do you 'believe in your mind' that it is scary? I think mentally you can tell yourself that there is nothing to worry about when it comes to any kind of commitment, because most of the time it will not affect you physically (or at the very least it won't kill you, haha).
Things like these, it is better to take a step back an assess the situation instead of being swept up by them. I hope I helped somewhat
I'm certainly not shy when it comes to showing off my zany, eccentric self on Facebook.
For a couple of years, my avatar consisted of
me dressed as a Star Trek "Q" in the red judge's robes
against the background of a planet
(which was artistically created by me).
When I look for work, obviously, the Q avatar gets replaced
by a nice, "normal" photo of me "looking my best"
according to how polite society defines that.
But no, I'm not scared to be silly.
I would love to have more social commitment.
Maybe my silliness scares people ...
because I enjoy my freedom
more than most people.
Oh well,
their loss.
At least when I do meet the rare
true friend,
he or she will like me
for me.
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