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wrongcitizen
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09 Mar 2017, 1:20 am

So I've posted this before but it was a while ago so this is quite different.

I constantly have some guy telling me things. Of course it's not sexual because I'm male as well. It's more like machismo, more like he's coming after me for control. I just don't understand any of his actions. He's constantly putting me down and forcing me below him despite the fact that I'm blatantly better than him. He challenges me in my own areas of expertise even when he knows I'll beat him to a pulp. I just don't get it. What does he want?

He's obviously a very external person. He's constantly "out there" looking for people, messing with people, challenging people. I don't even know his name but he gets angry when I tell him that, and I tell him I don't care enough to know.

Second person. (Before I say this I want to say the problem itself was resolved but my internal questioning of the situation isn't, so this would be nice to get out). Basically, we have 2 people. I'm going to call them as*holes. Then we have 1 person who I'm going to call the victim. The victim continues to leave the as*holes, he comes with me and my friends during our breaks to get away from them, but he has Asperger's and he's overly kind (I know that's nota trait of Asperger's but I've noticed SOME people with Aspergers don't like confrontation, so they're very passive), and he doesn't fight aggressively, he just flees, which is the right thing to do. These idiots follow him around the school, taunting and physically hitting him. He hasn't reported it because he thinks it's joking but I don't, and I want to have them stop but I left them for the same reason. I don't want them to come after me, so I stay quiet, but I feel extremely uncomfortable when they're around me and when they're hitting this guy.

In the end, it's such a nasty disgusting situation we're in here. I have no idea if what these people are doing are jokes or real and hurtful attacks. I always suspect it's bullying but then I ask them and they say they're joking, and that I overreact. Sometimes they blatantly hit me and upon question they simply say that I can't take a joke and I'm pathetic. Usually I don't believe them because that doesn't make sense but it's bothering nonetheless. Sometimes I wonder if all "normal" people are just narcissists who use us as narcissistic supply, and we (the 1%) are constantly suffering but manipulated to a degree where we're unaware. Responses are appreciated, thanks.



kraftiekortie
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09 Mar 2017, 8:09 am

I sense that these people are trying to "bully" you in a subtle way. Then again, maybe it's not "bullying," per se---but a form of mockery. I've experienced similar things to you. Most of the time, I feel like I'm being mocked.

One cannot be "just kidding" all the time.



shadowtag
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09 Mar 2017, 6:44 pm

To me, it is irrelevant as to what the intention is; if this kind of behavior is demeaning to people than the people who are committing it should be notified and desist immediately.

You say you have brought this up to them? You expressed your concern on how this kind of behavior could be affecting the individual in question, inspite of their alleged intention?

If so, and, as a result they deride you and continue this behavior, then, if possible, I think you need to expose this kind of behavior for what it is and speak up to someone, to bring this up; that kind of behavior is unacceptable and people need to know that, it is harmful and for people to just continue to target someone, after being warned about the potential consequences of their behavior, is cowardly and shameful and should be punished.


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the_phoenix
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09 Mar 2017, 8:54 pm

From what you've posted,
it sounds to me like
real, hurtful attacks.

Abusers commonly accuse their targets of
being too sensitive, or not having a sense of humor.

Friends would respect you enough to
back off and stop the teasing.

Hitting is physical assault.
Calling you pathetic is verbal abuse.

Somehow, find a way to either
defend yourself or get away.

Don't continue to be a victim.



shadowtag
Sea Gull
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10 Mar 2017, 4:01 pm

Yes, if possible, take a stand against this behavior or refuse to be a source of indulgence by removing yourself and advise the individual you mentioned to remove himself from them entirely, if possible, either way that behavior absolutely must not be indulged, it isn't just harmful to the potential victim(s) but it will also reinforce the sense of reward in the ones committing it and increase the possibility of them seeking to escalate it further to get that perverse reward and thus increase the odds of them choosing destructive forms of life to their own hurt.


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Christian, Aspergian, Recovering Bundle Of Neurotic Anxieties.