Breaking up with a friend

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In October, my best friend stopped talking to me. We had been best friends for eight years or so and we've known each other most of our lives since she went to school with my older brother. With great difficulty, as confrontation horrifies me, I explained that I couldn't be in her wedding because I disagreed with her getting married so soon (six months of knowing and dating the guy -I knew him longer than she had- also they planned to get married in six weeks in what should have been months of planning, so it was all over the place). I wanted her to be happy though, and I wanted to make sure we stayed in touch (we are not huge socialites, both introverts, and had easily gone weeks without seeing or talking without a problem). She thanked me for being honest, told me she wasn't mad or anything because she wasn't that kind of person. She told me she loved me still, and I assumed everything was fine. I talked to her the next day and then she never spoke to me again.

I have since been in the same bout of depression since October. I think about it every day. I wonder of course what it was that I did wrong. I'm pretty sure I have some sort of PTSD over it. It sucks but it has pretty much ruined my life. I haven't worked since; I had a full time job but I had to leave it. I have insomnia, flashbacks, anxiety. I dream of her often when I do sleep. Mostly I don't want to do anything, even things I really enjoy. Probably 5 of the 7 days a week I just lay in my bed most of the day. I don't eat much anymore - I gained 30 lbs out of stress around that time and I've lost 20 of it but I've had a lifelong on again/off again relationship with food so that's not surprising.

Now I don't have any friends. Zed. I think I scared them away, petting them or texting them every day (but not outside of standard human operating hours). I pet people I'm very fond of. (I didn't know that wasn't normal until someone asked me to stop because it was weird. )

Has anyone else had a confusing/bad breakup with a friend?

Sorry to hear about your break up. I do think that you would be better of seeking help from a professional therapist than from an online forum.