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autisticstar
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05 Sep 2007, 1:16 pm

Hi,

I have been in touch with a guy I met here on wrong planet. We have exchanged pictures and have corresponded via e-mails for almost two months now. A few weeks ago we progressed to talking on the telephone to each other. I realize that I have never met this guy but I would really like to meet him at some point. We live in other states so it's not exactly an hour's drive but it seems we have so much in common and can relate to each other so well I don't want to just limit myself to friends in my own city. I don't want to be pushy but I would like to let him know that at this point I consider him to be a friend but I can't make any major decisions as to whether it will progress beyond friendship until I meet him in person and spend some time with him. I did mention the idea and he came up with the idea of possibly meeting up in the spring for a vacation. Should I tell him that I feel like we have made a connection of some kind but I don't know what will happen in the future until I meet him? I know this sounds crazy because I have never met him but I really do care about him as a person and would love to be friends if nothing else. How can I make it so he doesn't feel pressured but he knows that I care about him and think highly of him, provided he hasn't been misrepresenting himself? He gave me his home phone number in addition to his cell phone number. When I talked to him the other day I felt like I was rude to him and now it's really bothering me. Should I just come out and ask him if I was rude?

Thanks.

Lia



edal
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05 Sep 2007, 3:37 pm

OK, a few tips which might ensure your safety.

1) Google the persons name and see where else they come up. As an exercise try putting in your real name and see what comes up, it's surprising what traces we leave behind.

2) The first time you meet make it a public place with lots of people.

3) Before you set off to meet someone for the first time tell a friend who you are going to meet, where, and what time you expect to be back.

4) If something doesn't feel right then walk away.

This will probably turn out just fine but meeting someone off an online board can sometimes be a bit of a risk. Stay safe.

Ed Almos



0_equals_true
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05 Sep 2007, 4:34 pm

5) Mobile/Cellphone bring it make sure the battery is charged
6) Don't bring unnecessary valuables



Kit
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05 Sep 2007, 4:52 pm

7) Arrange the meet at a place you know has video cameras, like a Starbucks. Mention this fact to him casually.



nb411
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07 Sep 2007, 5:27 am

Kit wrote:
7) Arrange the meet at a place you know has video cameras, like a Starbucks. Mention this fact to him casually.


hehe no, that's taking it a bit far. If he's for real then it will scare him off. He should also be able to see that for himself so need to mention it.

I have met plenty of people IRL from messageboards and never had an issue. That said though it was all business transactions or friendships.

It sounds like you should be ok. Hope it goes well :)