Is there a guide somewhere on how to act appropriately?

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I've been a lot more social in the past year and a half than I have been in a long time, but I keep running into situations where I say something inappropriate because I didn't know it was inappropriate (asking for details on an illness, generally asking or talking about things that people didn't go into detail about and I didn't realize why). This might not be the kind of thing to find online, but I tried searching for a guide to talking appropriate on Google for people with Asperger's and didn't come up with anything related to what I wanted; it gave me either how to pronounce Asperger's or how people with the disorder act. Does anyone know of some guide on that somewhere, or just has some tips in general?

Unfortunately, I could really use something like this as well. I have kind of made this new friend whom I really like. However, my Asperger's-related quirks have scared him off for now. And the irony is that it was all inappropriate behavior on my part in electronic communications. During the two times that we have hung out in person so far, I interacted with him normally, except for maybe not talking enough during our first intense four hour outing. It's actually usually been easier for me to talk to people in electronic communications. But when I talked to my new friend in electronic communications, I got in the habit of messaging him too often as I like him a lot, maybe too much.

Do you see or have you ever seen a mental health professional for your Asperger's? Since the start of my problem with my friend, I've been e-mailing back and forth with a mental health counselor whom I use to visit in order ask him for advice.

The serious answer to your question is that there certainly are such guides: they're called etiquette manuals and they've been around probably for two thousand years. Hip modern culture, especially since the 1960s, has rejected them as old fashioned, but two thousand years' of experience suggests they are highly useful.

The best known are the various Emily Post books, which have been around for decades. You can find them in any library or bookstore. Here are two examples on Amazon:

http://amzn.to/2qtUdII
http://amzn.to/2pzpxRz

Try the "look inside" feature on Amazon to get a preview.

I have found the book Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct by P. M. Forni to be really helpful. To me it gets right to the point on how to treat people decently in a social setting. I also like that it explains the reasoning behind each of its twenty-five rules. His explanations really make sense to me, so it doesn't seem that the rules are things someone arbitrarily thought up.

I could probably put more effort into following its advice, but reading this book has really helped me get along with people better over the past few years. It has especially been helpful in the work setting.

I have also read good things about The Social Skills Guidebook by Chris MacLeod and Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron. I want to pick these up sometime soon.

Also, the book People Skills by Robert Bolton is good, but very detailed and a bit long-winded. I have read parts of this book and have found them helpful.

I've seen a therapist specializing in Asperger's since about 2007. Being appropriate is something I should bring up next time. Thank you for the book suggestions! Those sound good. I'll look into them.

You could also try reading "The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships."

It's such a fine line between not thinking and saying the idiotic thing that instantly comes to mind versus intentionally waiting then thinking then overthinking and then not saying anything at all and in the end looking like a mute idiot.