This idea that you need a bully in your life, and need hardship and trouble, is delusional. You don't need to bully or put yourself down to make yourself better.
When you see yourself doing something foolish, or someone making fun of you to get a laugh, or even someone getting frustrated. Whatever you do, do not listen to your inner bully. Your inner bully is the one who listens only to the negativity, and not what is actually being said. You need to focus on what is actually meant, and not what is just said. Be careful of how you judge other people, because you don't know if that person is going to help you get a promotion, or could be promoted to be your next boss.