Lots of big social events coming up

Post Reply New Topic

I have a big family, and my boyfriend has a big family, and people keep throwing big parties like birthday celebrations, Christmas parties and weddings. And I am invited to all of them so far, in the upcoming year. I keep having panic attacks about it but for some reason I feel embarrassed to not turn up just because I have social anxiety. I feel like I'm being rude and unsociable by not going, and some people who don't know me very well (like my boyfriend's distant family) might think I'm just making excuses. These big social events are taking place in non-local areas, and private transport (like minibus or limo) are being arranged, so it makes it difficult to leave when I please, unless I pay for a taxi, which isn't cheap.

I don't drink alcohol and I'm not interested in getting drunk, but most people seem to live their social lives around alcohol, and most people, especially men, seem to have to get absolutely rat-arsed at these events.

What do I do? I am feeling so stressed about it.

I know how you feel, about wanting the freedom to be able to leave a social gathering.
Sounds like it would really help if there were only someone dependable you could ask
to drive you home if the socializing started to feel overwhelming.
Am also not a fan of heavy drinking or hanging around with people who are drunk.

Is there somebody really understanding you could talk to about this?
At least about the transportation issue?

I don't really get overwhelmed in social events as such. I am just too shy when around too many people (unless it's my own family). I only know about 6 people in my boyfriend's family, and he said about a couple of hundred people will be at this big social event that's coming up. I feel I have to go with him because we are a couple and I've been invited too. But I suffer from severe social anxiety, and often shyness feels exhausting to me, because of feeling frightened I might make a bad first impression or I might do or say something stupid. I struggle with joining in group conversations and usually at big social events I don't speak unless directly spoken to.