How the heck do I stop talking so much?

Post Reply New Topic

TL;DR I talk too much about my special interests to my (only) friend and I know I'm annoying and want to stop but I can't bc it would just feel like a stab to the chest...

Right.. So. Real life. No talking. Nope! Nope. Hate it. Bleh. Also, everyone gets mad and tells me to shut up at my special interest babble.

Online, I have a friend. One friend. One single friend. I don't have my psychologist anymore, I used to babble to her about my special interests and it was hard to restrict the babble to those sessions as the space between sessions got larger and larger until they stopped completely, no sessions anymore (no money, and I just spend them babbling which upset my mum I wasn't talking about other stuff but special interests.)

Now all my babble is directed at my online friend. I love her to pieces. But I know I'm annoying as anything. But there's noone else to talk about it too! I go on forums and write about it but it's not the same, bc you have to reign in your passion and write a certain way otherwise people think you are stupid or overexcited and weird. Plus, I'd have to join so many forums for that and I hate being a newbie and all unknown on things. Everyone has friends on them and I don't. And I don't want to try making them, either.

I talk "at" her rather than "with", I know the warning signs of boredom but I don't care, not babbling to the full extent is like not peeing when you've just drunk an entire aquarium. I know she doesn't watch Voltron. She goes to so much effort to get some sense of my babble, she saves the pictures of the characters I send to her and gives them their own albums so she can differentiate between various Life is Strange and Voltron characters and it's adorable and I love her but I know it's probably really dull and boring and unfun for her.

I love her a lot but I know I'm probably killing her... I've only recently started talking more frequently with her, daily now, and I get upset when she doesn't reply in a set amount of time or has opened my long messages of babble even though I have no right to bc I don't reply for ages and I know I'm just assaulting her with things she doesn't really know/care about.

Bump (are we allowed to bump topics?). Also TLDR stands for too long don't read (I think).. If you don't wanna read the whole forum it's basically summarized up where it says TL;DR.

You could start a thread on here I the tv section. You might find other fans on this forum.

Have you ever been on the other end of an autistic (or OCD, as I experienced it) person's relentless special interest / fixation rant? Yeah. It gets old.
Maybe you could join an online group specifically for that interest? Then it wouldn't seem weird to be ranting about it all the time there, since that's what the group is for. Might be nice to be able to let loose with your enthusiasm knowing others are enthusiastic about it too and less likely to be getting bombarded with something they have no interest in.
Not unloading it on your online friend is just awareness and self-control I think. Be mindful to vary topics with her, and direct the onslaught of special interest talk somewhere more appropriate / shared?

I can completely understand your position.
Change takes time, it's difficult, and a slow process.
Is it voltron the 80's cartoon? (or is it early 90's)

Not sure if you collect the toys, but that could be a way to make some money/invest.

I know the feeling. I love to talk about my special interests, but it's hard to find people who are interested in listening or even better, actually discussing those topics with me (or at least I think it's better. Don't know which you prefer.) And when I do find someone they usually aren't as in to it as I am (or at least that is what it looks like to me) and get uncomfortable when they see how in to it I am... I think. As a kid I used to babble about this stuff to anyone who'd listen or actually, anyone who happened to be in the range of hearing me. Imagine you're an adult woman working in a preschool and have to listen to a five year old going on and on about what happened in her favorite show that you couldn't care less about and that you have nowhere to run because you have to stay there to work. Also, include a punch of other 5 year olds complaining about spoilers who tend to watch the show on Saturdays since they have no time on Wednesday mornings. Sounds pretty annoying, no? I was that five year old.

Anyway, these days I try to hold it in if I know or strongly feel like the person with me isn't interested. It's not that I'm embarrased about my special interests (even though some consider them a little embarrasing), it's just that I don't want to make others uncomfortable or make them think I'm too selfcentered. I have some friends who have similiar interests, but aren't necessarily as in to them as me. I tend to tell them that they should just tell me to stop if the topic starts feeling too boring for them.

I think you should seriously consider which is more important to you: your friend as a person or your friend as someone who'll listen to you talking about your special interests. Since you say you love her, I'll assume it's the former. I won't say that you'd have to completely stop talking about your special interest, but try to pay more attention to what she wants or might want. If you can't think about another topic besides your interest, ask her what she would like to talk about and actually make an effort to make it an enjoyable conversation for her (and if it goes well then for you, too.) Even if it won't work, I'd say it'd show that you care.