Professor unfriending me

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Hello. I am a recent college graduate and I am very hurt and confused about and unfriending instance on Facebook with a professor. He was my favorite teacher and I have so many nice memories involving him and my classmates. He was always very nice and helpful and always there for me in his office hours. On graduation day, he sent friend requests to me and everyone else who just graduated. However, not long after he friended me, he unfriended me and he didn't unfriend anyone else. I felt so hurt. I can't think of any logical reason why he would do this. After he graded my final project, I was a little surprised with regard to my grade. I didn't score as high as I thought and I was hoping. I then sent him an email asking him if he and I could meet for coffee so he could show me where I didn't score as high on my project . He said that he wasn't available for coffee but he could send me the rubric that would've indicated where I missed points . I didn't think asking him to meet for coffee would be necessarily inappropriate , as I had just graduated and I'm no longer a student . I did share with him the fact that I'm on the spectrum just a week before graduation as it was a rather stressful semester for me . He thanked me for sharing that . Maybe he unfriended me because he wasn't aware of my sense of boundaries , knowing I'm on the spectrum , and he thought I was going to try to become close friends with him, which is certainly not the case . I would've likely never seen them again anyway because I'm moving far away in a couple months . The only other remote reason why he could've unfriended me could be if in his mind, I didn't put as much effort into my project as he would've liked, but that shouldn't be a reason to unfriend a student who work closely with you and just graduated . I would love to be able to restore my Facebook friendship with him and perhaps apologize for anything I did that he didn't like , so it wouldn't end on such a bad note . Any suggestions on what I could do ?

In the future, be careful about confiding in people that you're on the spectrum.

Given that autistic or alleged autistic people have been in the news
regarding getting upset over things like grades they earned in school,
perhaps your professor was afraid.

I concur with the above advice. Just move on.

My sister is also a teacher and she has shown me their world. They are people too and often do not like some of their students as much as they have to pretend to be neutral.

Maybe he sent out a mass friend request to everyone in his class. Then noticed you were on it. When you are a student he is obligated to what he can to help you but now you are just two people. I can sort of see why he will not meet for coffee. That would be a friendly thing he probably does not even do for current students. There are strict boundaries you find him during office hours or in class only. But I also know of people who used their professors as job references for their first one out of school. So maybe this a case of autism rubbing people the wrong way. I have been there too.

At this point, I feel like you have nothing to lose by re-friending. Maybe it was somehow a mistake.

You could even send a short civil message, like, "hi, I could have sworn I accepted your friend request. Not sure what happened! Thanks again for a great semenster." Maybe it won't amount to anything, but you've got nothing to lose.

I had wanted to connect with a favorite instructor on LinkedIn but she had turned me down by removing any opportunity so I can add her to a network.

Like Kraftiekortie was saying, I am wondering if she had a rule where she wasn't allowed to add former college students.

Now, I had another former professor who turns out knows other people in my network and she added me. Whereas the other professor didn't have anyone who I didn't know which is too bad because I really liked her teaching methods.

It could have been the invite for coffee, I mean that is a fairly typical date setting...so he might have thought you were asking him out. I understand you didn't mean it that way at all, but if he took it that way then that might be why. And if that is the case I would not follow other posters advice of sending another friend request as that would probably make it worse. Probably would be best just to move on...if he did unfriend you by mistake then maybe he'll add you again.

Also I would feel pretty awkward about having former college professors or high school teachers on my facebook friends list. Why do some of you want them as friends on facebook or any social network sites in the first place?

I have a couple of friends who were also my professor.

It depends on the professor, really.

I would still move on. You can't like all people; and not everybody can like you.