Do people really talk less in Europe compared to America?

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I'm American and lately I have heard lots of stories from Europeans that Americans are always making small talk. This is on youtube videos where they are talking about their trips to America and how it was different than their home land.

For example on the bus you talk to the person sitting by you. You don't know them and will never see them again but it's rude to not talk. But in Europe this is seen as fake and unusual. Like you only talk to your friends and it takes a lot to make a friend. With the few friends I have had I am comfortable talking to them but never with a stranger.

I feel like this is the perfect culture for autistic people. I feel so much pressure to try and continue conversations. Many times I know I just walk away and probably seem rude. Like tonight I was walking my dog which I do every day so people know me in the neighborhood. This women asked "is he afraid of fire works?" since it's our independence day today and it's well known to scare pets and make them run away because of the loud noise. I had no idea what to say other then the truth which is no. She then says "oh my dog was growing up". I know I should say something else but I just said "oh really that's not good" and walked away. I have spent the last hour with anxiety and embarrassment. Did I make her mad? She is not my friend but I know she is doing what everyone else here does. I just want to walk in silence. Part of the good thing about my dog is we just know each other. We don't have to talk.

So any Europeans on here do you still have issues with people even though your culture puts less emphasis on talking to strangers?

First of all, and this is more important than you might imagine -- "Europe" isn't culturally all one thing. The term "Europe" is handy for talking about some generalities geographically and politically.

But Europe is made of dozens of different countries, and it may be hard believe but each country has quite a different culture from the next. How people tend to behave in, for example, Italy, will not be anything like how people tend to behave in Germany, or the British Isles.

So you can't generalize and say that what Italians do regarding small talk is the same as what you find British people doing regarding small talk.

Europe is not a country or a single culture behaviorally or otherwise, regardless of the "European Union." You have to specify which country you have in mind.

Second, things will be different even within that same single country. What people tend to do in London will be different to what they act like in, say, Yorkshire.

And even what people do in a suburb of London will be different to the busiest central London region. This is just one example of one city in one country, the principal applies all over "Europe."

I can tell you right now, in my London suburb I'm overrun with chatty, chatty chatty complete strangers and it's actually become a real problem for me.

It may not be so if I lived in the central banking district or other super busy spot where strangers tend to be in more of a private bubble just to deal with crowded conditions.

I couldn't quote your whole post as I didn't quite get any of the small talk. Hence the reason I couldn't use it. People across the globe are varied, they might make small talk to hide their boundaries and find something congenial to talk about but actually we Europeans talk to stangers alot more as its part of who we are. It doesn't involve making small talk. I actually assumed it was Americans who likes to talk alot and Ozzies don't do too bad for it either, even though they sum up their reasons by using more futuristic ideas, and less modern tittle tattle.
It also offends some Europens if someone is making or quoting small talk over and over, they're assuming that no one is actively listening to their ideas. No one is waiting for that lightbulb momentum to begin, which is probably why not many of us choose to opt with the flow of a pointless debate.

I agree I did not mean to make it sound like Europe is all the same. That actuly annoys me a bit when other Americans think that. Like it's the same as going from state to state here.

But England was one of the places joked about where one does not talk. Every culture has different types of people I guess.

nah, that's not what it seemed like last time i was there.

I did travel quite a bit around the US once and I've visited various countries in Western Europe (as well as living in the UK).
I conclude that the idea that Americans talk more is just a stereotype.

It just means they (Americans) should try and keep small minded skepticism and bias judgements out of the equation.
They are completely confused about Brits. We are reserved yes, because we are an Island, we don't take up nearly half the globe on purely economics, the smaller picture is usually found with friends, family and some left over cash.
No one need practice what they preach full on, down here.
I actually find that most Americans big themselves up about things they've got little control over as all details are just minor and some posh erand boy can take over, so that no secrets can be shed.
Clearly the Americas think they've got one over on Europe with their advances in mostly everything, our routine and culture just gets shot out the window with every step an earnest tourist makes on our soil for investment in properties.

The stereotype of the "English and British reserve" is a very well known one and not without some origin in truth.

But many Brits today are not reserved at all. They tend to be the noisiest ones in certain Continental vacation hotspots.

And even back at home, there are lots of very outspoken Brits these days.

You will still notice a lot of "reserve" if getting on a crowded subway train in the centre of London -- in crowded cities people tend to draw inward into their own personal bubble just to endure all being crowded together.

But Brits in general can be just as chatty and oversharing as the stereotype of an American.

I am interested in wildlife and so this interest necessarily takes me outdoors a lot into a forestland type of park that is semi natural yet also has plenty of people passing through and so is slightly safer for a woman alone to be. So it's my option locally for a natural setting.

And I am constantly interrupted in my quiet time there by complete strangers who chat up a storm with me. It's gotten so bad it's now among one of the problems I'm trying to set boundaries on.

So this reserved Brit thing doesn't hold a lot of water with me these days.

I feel Brits are actually very chatty. I would agree with what was said above. But they are, usually, more careful in what they have to say. They care more about offending people, on average, than an American.

One time, at Victoria Station, this woman just got out of a public toilet. I had to "go" really bad. She asked me why I wanted to go to this loo right after she used it. I didn't bother to answer. This shows the fastidiousness of some Brits when it comes to certain "functions."

People are pretty reserved in the NYC Subway, too. It's the paranoia of being around strangers in a soap-can environment.

Brits are very chatty yes, but I don't see a lot of evidence that they are careful about what they say, or care about not offending -- the people who talk to me a lot seem to blurt out their first thought. There are even shockingly open conversations about extremely touchy subjects like Brexit and immigration, between people who barely know each other beyond "hi and bye" these days, and it's quite astounding.

I've wound up actually arguing heatedly with someone I've only had a couple of conversations with in my whole life (in other words they're barely even acquaintances, practically strangers) because they started right in on a political rant assuming I would agree. It's not the same old Britain in many little ways.

Just your luck you're encountering these people, Birdie.

In my encounters with British people, I find that there is an attempt not to be "stuffy." And, by and large, they succeed.

I still feel reticent about expressing opinions, though, and seeming rude because of my bluntness. I've experienced English people being shocked at my bluntness, and attempting to diplomatically side-step whatever issue I present.

It took me many years to learn even a smidgen of diplomacy. I used to just blurt out whatever was on my mind (if I felt the desire to talk at all). Or, I would just clam up out of shyness.

Yes, generally, although it depends what country you're from.

1. Northern Ireland, people talk to you in places where they're bored such as waiting rooms, hospitals etc. Often on Public Transport, in Class.
2. Southern England, strangers are cold and distant. Strangers will go out of their way to avoid striking up a conversation. If you were they strike up a conversation with an English person, they would likely run away or get creeped out. I don't personally understand this mentality, it is human nature to be social.

No. English people are extremely anti social.

I'm from Northern Europe and your examble is certainly true here in my home country. I mean even here we do have some chatty people, especially lonely elderly, but most of the time you don't talk to strangers. You just don't; it's just not done here. However, there are few exceptions: it's alright to talk to strangers in bars as well as certain kind of conventions where you can assume all the people are there because they are interested in whatever the convention is for. However, you need to stay on topic and not to ask anything too personal unless you actually know the person. Also, it's fine to ask for little help from a stranger, like what time is it or ask for directions if you're lost.

And yes, I do have some problems with people, but not really with strangers. If someone who is a complete stranger is rude to me, I just walk away or ignore them. It's concidered rude here sure, but since they started it... then there are my neighbours. I live in an apartment building and don't really know them by name or face, but enough that if I see them close to my home I usually realize that I should know them. When I notice this I say hi and they say hi and both keep walking (most of the time.) If they start a conversation, usually about the weather, I answer the best I can. The biggest problem I have in these kind of situations is that I'm not sure when it's considered to be the time to go where I was going and leave the person. This applies to all strangers I end up talking with or people I know and meet by coincidense in a store or something.

In any case, the beginning was a bit of a generalization and the rest my personal experience, so it might not be completely accurate. Someone from the same country and even from the same area as me might have something else to say entirely.

To owenc -- I live in London, the very capital city of "Southeast English coldness" and supposed anti-socialness.

I can't effing STOP people from chatting to me.

If you get on a London bus or a train -- you are correct, people try not to speak to each other.

This is only because in a CROWDED situation that is not specifically a social occasion, people psychological withdraw as a survival instinct, or we'd be talking to complete strangers and making thousands of bits of eye contact with thousand of complete strangers all bloody say in an attempt just to travel to work.

This is also true of TOKYO.

It HAS to be somewhat a reserved situation.

But go to any other situation and people are plenty chatty.

I go to a LONDON park and I CANNOT get left alone. Complete f*****g strangers just because I've sat down to stay a while.

It's a stereotype. I've had my goddamn EAR bent off by the chattiness of English people, and Londoners to boot. To the extent where it's one of the biggest problems in my life and I'm about to write a sign for my back saying "AUTISTIC AND CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF YOUR EFFING CHIT CHAT."

Seriously.

That is my exact experience too, at least in Essex and East London. People immediately ask what you do for a living also. As in: "How is your day? What are you up to? What do you do for a living? Yeh those benefit cheats. All those immigrants. Brexit blah blah. I work so hard for a living and all these people take my money." All within the first 5 minutes of conversation. They are really personal topics, it's like they use that as a way to judge if you are worth your salt or not. It's a bit aggressive really.

Walking around in Central London though, no, you don't get any of that. I've found people polite enough but distant and wanting to continue their journey. As I was saying to Jacoby the other day (he wanted to say he is permanently banned from here now, BTW), I hardly ever hear American accents in this country. I hear all sorts of different foreign accents, but Americans seem to be quite rare here.