Cutting off ties?

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Sometimes, especially over the past couple years, I've found it a little unsettling how easily I can cut all ties with the people around me. I've ended some of the closest friendships I've ever had on a moment's notice, and never looked back. I don't regret doing it either, and that kinda scares me too. I feel like I've gotten to the point where it's easier to have no friends at all than to have to be angry at the friends I have. But... well, that's not exactly a healthy way to live, is it? What do you guys think? Are you the same way?

Why did you end "the closest friendships" you've had in life?

kraftiekortie beat me to it.

Seems to me those "closest friends" would've had to make you mighty mad
before you would do such a drastic thing as
end a friendship with them?

I've done this, only I wouldn't say I was close to them. There are different lead ups to each end but primarily it's stress. It's too much stress having this person in my life so I'd rather not have them in it (according to Tania Marshall https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/ that's something women with Aspergers tend to do). But I suppose it is unsettling. And there are times — few and far in between though they are — when I do regret not having that person in my life. Though that may be because if they still were my friend count would be a solid one. I should also mention that one of those was a person who was angry at me, only they didn't let me know so I could rectify it — they just blocked me. Just like that. And though I heard that they wanted to get back in touch, I was less than keen.

That's actually a really long story. I couple years ago I went to a trade school for people with special needs. While I was there, I met a girl. She was popular, funny, and fun to be around. Believe it or not, we got to be really good friends. She had a boyfriend already, or else I would have tried to date her, but that's beside the point. When I was friends with her, all her other friends were my friends too. And we went on many merry adventures (not really).

Then a new guy joined the class. I got to know him, and he was friendly enough, so we started hanging out. He met the girl through me, and they got to be friends too. And then, right out of nowhere, he hated me. Suddenly there were rumors going around that I was threatening him, hurting him, and calling him names, all in the (nonexistent) part of campus where there was nobody around and no security cameras to see it happen. And the really stupid part is that the girl I was friends with believed him. She came up to me more than once saying that I needed to apologize to him for what I did, even though pretty much everyone else agreed those didn't sound at all like things I would do.

Then he turned into her white knight. He followed her around so closely I'm surprised he didn't go into the girl's room with her. He would give her a ton of empty compliments in rapid fire ("You're so awesome! You're perfect! You're the best! Nobody's better than you! You're amazing!"), and he would listen into other people's conversations, twist their words into insults, and then yell at them for it. I told her once that I was going to a Skillet concert that was in town, she said she couldn't afford tickets, and I said "oh, that's too bad." He jumped in yelling, "Hey, shut up! Not everyone's lucky to be born with rich parents like you! Stop making her feel bad for being poor!" First of all I don't have rich parents. I was just one of the only students to have a job while I went to school.

Anyway, eventually I went to her and I told her how I felt. That guy was bullying me, and I didn't appreciate it. He wouldn't listen to me, but he would listen to her, so she either needed to tell him to back the hell off or I wasn't going to hang out with either of them anymore. She told me that he has a disability, and I need to be more tolerant. And that was that, I quit both of them. I was hoping that would, you know, shock her into doing what I wanted because she still wanted to be friends with me, but she had so many other friends that she didn't even miss me. In fact, with me gone, the lying creep just got even close to her. And when I stopped being her friend, all her other friends did too. So I was living there at the school literally with no friends or anybody to talk to.

I got used to it, but the more used to it I got I noticed the less tolerance I had for other people. I got really grumpy, had a short temper, and got mad over little things. And things haven't really changed much since then. I'll still try to be friends with people if we get along, but lately my first reaction to any sign of tension is to cut all ties with them. Stop calling them, stop texting them, unfriend them on Facebook, and definitely don't go out and do things with them. And since nobody comes out asking, "Hey, Adam, what's wrong?" I assume they don't miss me much, either.

And... yeah, that's about it.

Gosh, you description does very much like life.

As for the comment for an earlier comment about Aspergers women and stress, probably explains why my Aspie ex. ended it to be honest.

As for the guy who has been a dickhead to you "ThisAdamGuy" - and the girl well, all I can say is, she is going to learn a lesson the hard way by the sounds of it. sometimes you have to let people do that.

I find it extremely easy to cut people out of my life. I think for me it may be a subconsciously learned trait. My dad and grandpa are the exact same way. Or maybe it's that I get tired of liars and cheats and fake people and people only wanting things from you and nothing more.

I am actually a very nice person to people, hard to make friends since I'm shy, look at the world completely different, don't connect at all with my generation. But if you screw me over, I have zero regret having you out of my life. If your a real person, I will bend over backwards for you. Two extremes. I have enough things to keep me busy while alone.

I have always found it really easy to cut people off. I have had a number of best friends, and I mean really best friends where we would be literally inseparable and as close as two people could be, and the friendship has just ended without a cause and communication ended and that was it. The first time it happened it was my friend who cut me out and since then it has been easy. Maybe now I go into friendships knowing that it could end at any point and however close we are I am prepared for it to be over and if i never hear from them again it it ok.

I had to cut off mine for my sanity....