Any advice for sharing personal information

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Hallo! Is there anybody who could give me advice on sharing private/personal information with people that you meet? Because sometimes I can be too open with people that I first meet, especially women, and I am worried if I keep being to open with people that I meet, that something unpleasant could happen... So any advice related to the topic is welcomed.

Thanks!

-LegoMaster2149 (Written on August 18, 2017)

I prefer to limit what I share with people because people tend to use what you tell them against you or they spread your personal business everywhere. If you get close too quick, you could be perceived as needy and clingy. Anybody that tries to get too close to you too quick can't be trusted. Gossip queens tend to get close to people quickly so they can get juicy gossip to spread around. I difficulty making friends with women because they do crap like that.

I am a pretty open book online (and in general). What you see is what you get. But, with that said...

Generally, the one thing I avoid is sharing personal struggles with people one-on-one, at least until we're pretty close friends. I avoid it because I hate it when people do this to me. If I know someone well, I'm more than happy to hear about their personal struggles and support them, but that's because we have an established history and I care about them. However, if I don't know someone well, then it just feels like unnecessary baggage? I don't know what to say in response, since I don't know them well enough. It feels very awkward.

Oh yeah. I feel you. I overshare as a filler of awkward silence, making it way worse and making the other person uncomfortable... Although I'm not capable of following the advice, my friend tried to teach me - the key is sharing a little bit about yourself and then asking the other person a topic related question, letting them talk and then following up the theme and so on. (e.g. "I have a dog because dogs are cute, his name is Bambi, he's black. Hey, you like dogs?" "Yeah, we used to have one, was my sisters, but I have a rabbit" "I love rabbits!" boom. instant friendship I guess? )

In the past, there were times where I was trying to tell someone I was trans (as in lgbt). In 2006, before the media got preoccupied with lgbt. And someone was so homophobic that he kept hollering at me. Yelling. Screaming. Out of control. This was a civil engineer. Interacted with him a lot of times before, in a lot of depth. Until that day he appeared completely kind, receptive, and nonjudgmental.

In other words he did not want my personal information. While I wanted to tell him

Other times, someone had the nerve to ask me "why did you cut your hair?" As if she wanted me to tell her I was gay. But she was homophobic. And I ain't gay. But that was 2003 and not many people outside the LGBT center had ever heard of trans before. And she was not open-minded either

Then other precious lil "people" had the nerve to ask why I failed to wear a martial arts uniform at aikido. The answer was Sensory Processing Dysfunction. And I did not wanna tell them.

Anyways sometimes someone hears a rumor about me. Or they misinterpret something I told them. And they use it against me

Seriously

If you do not disclose then they get more curious and bother you more

If you do disclose sometimes they are in denial, do not understand or do not care

If they accept it, understand and care, then what? Whooptie do.

If they are in denial, then they belittle the disclosure and tell you you are "lying"

Seriously there is something wrong with everything

I tend to overshare when I talk to people. Not so much like putting myself in danger, more like telling my life story to new coworkers instead of keeping it more casual. It's hard for me to know what is appropriate to reveal.

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when i told someone something they did not wanna hear, they had the nerve to tell me "why are you telling me?".

then someone asked "why didn't you tell me?".

apparrently precious lil "people" expect me to read their minds.