Board index › Coping in life › Social Skills and Making Friends

Mistaking diplomacy for kindness/interest

Page 1 of 1 [ 2 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

CyclopsSummers
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,172
Location: The Netherlands

12 Sep 2017, 11:16 am

So this is something that's happened to me a couple times over the last 10 years or so. Every once in a while, when interacting with someone either at work or at some casual social setting, it may seem to me that that person is displaying a considerable affinity with me through their actions and the words they say. At those moments, I have sometimes thought that this person could be interested in pursuing a friendship ( as I myself was interested in). Apparently, I am terrible at reading signals, because typically what happens when I suggest that we meet at some place of mutual interest, they decline. This always throws me off, and has been the cause for much self-doubt, as it made me feel as though even people with whom I have a 'click', are not really interested in socializing with me beyond the superficial. Note that, at this point in my life, I have no friends or acquaintances (haven't had friends since school 14 years ago, and only had 2 acquaintances from 2010-2013).


_________________
clarity of thought before rashness of action


CharlesRooster
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2017
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 69
Location: Waco,TX

14 Sep 2017, 8:18 am

This I can relate to in a way, I can't really get past acquaintanceship with people especially. Then again, usually I'm the one avoiding them.


_________________
W̸̨̨̢̢̡̨̡̡̧̡̢̧̧̢̡̡̡̨̛͍̯̳̹̩̖̮̖̣̤̜̼͈̜͓̱̩͓̞̠̲̻̩̟͙̤̦̠̼̙̯̲͎͈̦͇̼̭̬͓͉̟̬̰̲̩͍̮̗̗̝̺̥̲͚͎͔̙̰͈̘̖͚͇͎̳̠̹̙̫̳̻̳̳̼̞̻̜̱͓̝̗̬͎̬̳͕̭̳͇̬̯̙͎͎̖̞̰̪͖̫̦̟͉͓̲̙̻̥̦̠̺̪̰͈̰͖̗̟͖͉͉̞̲̤̝̪͙̠̳̥̤̼̦̥̳̞̪̙͈̼̹̙͖̘̞͇͔̟̣̝͍͙͈̮̰̱͉̠̤̠̲̫̼̗̫̙̭̙͈̫̺̘̲̗̗̞̩̖̦̞̟͍̘͇͉̝̖̥͔͕̣̩͇̱̪͓̩̹͎̻̙̗̬͈̰̝͕̠͎̩̞̩͛͌̈́͐̈́̌͐̐̉̈̐̍̌́͛͂̈́̾͂̈́̊̃͋̓̃̌̎̈́̏̀̈́̈́͒̀̍̾͐͑͒̋̃̑̇̽̉͊̈̌͗̐̽̅̈́͆̋̂̇̀̀̋͂͑̚̕͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͝͝͠͠ͅͅͅͅe̶̡̧̧̨̧̧̡̧̛̛̛̛̛̤̱̬̥͖̹̱̹̦̺͚͙̜͎͈͚̭͙̦̻͚͉̹͙̘͔͍̬̲̦͕̟̯̜̜̗͙͙͈̲̰̯̹̳͖̤͙̥͔̭̼͙͈͈͖̝̥̜̣̼͚̥͔̲̟̤̩͓̹̟͉̬̹̗̩͍͈͈͙̰͎͕͔͖̝̪̞̺̭̤͙̯̻̞͉̙̪̲̼̣̩̥͓̠̭̱͂̈́͆͑̑͌̈́̽̑̄̂̈́́̂̎͒̂͂̋̈́́̓̑̋̀̉̓̆̎̋͐͛̐̃̌́̓̔̌̽̑̀̈́͛̀͌̈́̄̓̍̔̉̄̍͐̀̊̌̒̎̾́̅̌̆̽̆̀́͂͂̄͗̽͑̓͋̄̏̆̐͂̊̀̓̾̒̈́͑͐͆̀̌͒͒̈͛̐̾̂̅̀́̀̇̀̃̒̊͂̇̐̑̎͊̿̂͆̇̃̉̆͒͗̔̽́͗̎͑̓̓̀͆͊̾̐̓̆̇́̊̒͛̀̀̌̏̀͑͗̍͂̑͗̒̄̏̊̍̿͌́̿́͐̍͐̇̿͐͒̿́̽̄͒̊̀̊͛̍̉̂̀̑́̐̀̎̒͛̽͛̆͗̊̄̆̓͗̂͌͐͒̎̈́̋̂̑̓̈́̌͒̅̄̆̓̂̀͊̍̌̏̐͊̉̐̀͌̓͂͛̈́̉̍̕̚̕̕͘̚̕̕̕͜͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͠͠͠͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͠͠ͅͅͅi̸̡̨̛̫̝̹͈͎̩͓̎̄̀̓̂͂͐́̓̔̂̍͑̄̀̀̈̀͌̏̑͑̽́͛̔͊̂͂͋͌̊̎́̄͗́̀̄̒̔̂̏͂̒̿́̀̇͊̾̐͂̏͌͛̓́͆́̏̀̀͊͊̾͒͂͋̅̄̒̽́̑̓̈́̔̔̚̚͘͘͘͘͘̚̕̕͠͝͠͝͝͝ͅř̸̡̧̧̢̨̢̡̢̡̧̡̨̢̨̡̧̢̧̛̛̛̛̛̛̤̗̜̞̝͉̖̯̙̣͕̠̥͚̲̭̯͔̣̥͓̳̳̤̪̲͚̱̤̲͉̭̰̬̙̯̜̜̹͇̱̞̟͚͍̣̲̲̣͇͕̞͕̠̟͓͚̣̠̹͇͔̰̳͓̙̜̹̞͍̺̳͖͈͖̪̬͔̹̗̤͉̥̰͇̘̦͓̩̮͉̬͚̤͇̦͓̹̝̠͔͍̺̪̖͔̱̭̰̻̥̹͎̥̘̯̦̟̤̠͕͚͇͖̞͓̼͉̱̙̱͉̘̮̤̱̩̖̰̤̦̥̝̳̠̳͓̹̥͖̘̹̫̭̲̟͈͚̺͙̠͖̪̠̜͖̟̤̙̗̥̜̯̱̣̩͇͔̰̬̹͕̦̞͇͇͇̺͕̹̜͎͔͎̲̰͕́̈͊̀̒̉̅́͒̉̆̇̓͛̓̃̐̍͌̽͊̑̂͛̏̄͗̑̐̈̿͛͐̈́̔̒̀̽̿́̔̾̔̆͐͌͆͂̒͊̀̈́̔͑͊̔̉̓̇̄̌̒̋̈́̅̾̿̋̊̋͌̅̇̀͆͋̏͐̈́͑͂̀̽́́̋͂̊̌̓̀̈̓̈́́̈́̀̓͆̒̒͗̾̃̃̀̏̒͒̎̀̀̒̈̄̈́͊̀̈́̋͛́̍̀̾͊͆̋͌͊͗͂̊̇̂̌̓̈́̈͂̈̈́̌́̀͛͆̌́̎̅͐̆͋̅̍̃̄̍̎̀́͋́̂̊̈́̓̐́̿̄́̏͂̓̏́̓̔͐̋̑͗̊̒̔͑́̀̊͐̈́̑͌̆̓͌͗̈́͆̄̒͛͒̀̈̆͋̂͑̎͒͒̎̏̑̐̆̐̃͑͛͂̔̚̕̕͘͘̚̕̕̚̕̚͘̚͘͘̚̚͜͜͜͜͠͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅḏ̵̢̨̨̢̡̧̢̡̧̨̡̢̢̡̢̡̧̧̡̨̧̡̢̨̨̡̡̞̘̼͉̹̥̮͇͎̯͍̲̜̳̥͈̺̪̮̲̠̣̳̭͎͔͉̼͖̮̤̱̘͉̫͖̠̭̝̯͙͍̙̖̪͚̺̬̮̯̱̪̜̤̪̮̙̯̫̩͚͇͓͚̪͖̞͖̫̝̣͎͉͉̮̭̰̭̬̗̲̙̩͇̤͈̩͇̳͈͙̮̱̬̼̙̖̪͔̙̳̬̖̫̱̲̪̺͎̖̣̟̹̙̞̼̹͔̝̞͙͖͈̠͔̲̰̯̫̗̪̰̬̖͍̰̩̮̱͕͎̪͔͓͈͎͍̻͓͇̯͉̫̳̮͉̹̺͈̬̣͕͔͎͖̱̪͈̲͕̰̜̱̺̝̙̰͓̝̤̺̠̘͔̰̣͔̹̰͇̯͚̱̞̥̦͚͍̹̙̦̪̲̤̗̘͔̝̯̲͓̠̺̱̙̲͇̘͈͚͍͍̻̫̱̲͚̠͔̗̪̹̻̝̜̫͚̦̫͙̜̩̽̀̌͒͌̍͛̄̉̎̎̈͂̋̓̌͋͌̒̌̐̍́̇̊͂͗̓̓̓̾̂̓̓̒̽͆́̈͆̑͋̀̅̎͂̈́̄͊̂́̽̽̌̿̀͑̍̍͋͋̊̈̐̈́̈́̌̂͑́̈́͘͘̚̕̚͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅơ̶̢̢̧̡̧̨̧̨̢̧͙͉̳̖̘̠͓̙͍͍̞̖̘̠̯͙̗͍̦̰̠̰̜̩̼̬̱͇͈̫̗͙̩̦͚̝͚̞͉̫͔̥̤̩̪̘̫̤̜̩̮̱̹̟̞̻̥̞̼̘̦̙̻̩̼̝͓̠͈̯̼̳̘̮̭̣̖̻̻̳̟̘̰͖̲̝̬͓̰͇̲̞͎̹̱̹̰̳̫͉̭͎͎̙̬̹̗̘̠̱̩̓͂̋̅̂͌͒̿̀͒̋̊͂͊͒̽̆̑̔̋́͋̐͆̊̆̏̈́͊̓̏͂̎̽̌̄̀̄̃̄́̿́̌̒́͒̋͋̍̇̑̍͒̊͆̊̐̉̐̔͋͆͐̎͋͗̈́̍̈͊̾̃́̑̆̅̃͋̀́̊̂̀̑̎̀͆̄̍̓̾̓̽̈́͋̀̿̎́́̆͗͂̐͂̐͗̽́̓̊̂̐̃́̃̇́̿̀̍̑́̐̋̋̂͂͗̇͊̉̊̃̽̆͆͆͑̇͆͒́̀͌̇̓̄̆́̀͆͆̾̾̀́̐̏̄̏̉̀̽̈́̑͊̉̒̄̀͘̚̕͘̚̕͘̚͘̕͘͘͘̕͜͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͠͝͝͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͠͝ͅͅ