How to approach one who is depressed

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Hi:
From time to time, I have run into people who are depressed because life has gotten them down from time to time. I have notice that when I try to be encouraging and even suggest things, I get snapped at.
"That doesn't help," "You're making it worse." I even try to relate to them and I told something along the lines of, "You don't know what I am going through."

In the past, I have ended up having getting upset with them for

"Acting childish." I have also said, "Get over yourself."

My question is, how so I handle communicating with a person who is depressed without them turning around and biting me though I am trying to help?

Invite them to have some ice cream?

From my experiences it is mostly the smartest approach to not say anything and just try to console someone by being physically present.
When going through a phase like this, nothing the other person says is going to improve my state of mind. Just knowing that someone is there for me is a good step in the right direction.

What about doing activities that they enjoy?

Well, i would separate the depressed state in different stages. In the early stage of this state nothing makes sense, everything is dreadful, nothing someone says is good enough, and every activity is too much.

This stage requires your physical presence, even if it is limited to a certain confined space.

Depending on the individual person and the time it takes him/her to get out of the mourning-phase, it is necessary for the person to leave the house and engage in certain activities.

I am not an expert at all, but this is what has always worked for people in my life.

Thank you very much

You're welcome! I hope it helps!

I could be wrong. But this is what worked for me when I had it. And this could be a line which doesn't always work.
People with depression, often have anxiety. If you can offer maybe even a momentary relief from that feeling, it may cause someone with depression to be uplifted for a bit. Invalidate their fears, point out that people overcome this. When it comes to their specific fears, make them feel as though they are the ones doing it themselves, give them a chance to express who they are and what they believe.

For instance if someone with depression is worried about going crazy, give them a chance to articulate themselves and express how they feel. It may make people feel as though, they can speak and function properly once more.

Speaking as someone who once had crippling depression, most of what people say in response to it is worse than useless.

"Just be positive!"/"Just don't be depressed!"/etc... Gee, really? I wish I thought of that! In reality it's not that simple. It's brain chemistry.

What's really needed is cognitive therapy and/or medication. Be supportive and don't say anything that could be interpreted as critical, because that will only make it worse. "Get over yourself" is definitely the kind of thing that anyone would be more upset by.

Speaking as someone who once had crippling depression, most of what people say in response to it is worse than useless.

"Just be positive!"/"Just don't be depressed!"/etc... Gee, really? I wish I thought of that! In reality it's not that simple. It's brain chemistry.

What's really needed is cognitive therapy and/or medication. Be supportive and don't say anything that could be interpreted as critical, because that will only make it worse. "Get over yourself" is definitely the kind of thing that anyone would be more upset by.
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clinical depression is a mental illness. a psychiatric diagnosis. clinical depression is not an emotion. sadness is an emotion.

"Be supportive and don't say anything that could be interpreted as critical". a lot of things could get interpreted as critical. quite frankly, the older i get, the more statements and actions i (mis)interpret as "critical." and sometimes it appears. seems. that it is better to fail to say the right thing, than to say the wrong thing.

likewise, the older i get, the more i avoid social interaction. seriously. social interaction seems so meaningless. when i am with someone, i feel like i have to maintain a conversation. to express interest in precious lil "people". but there are only so many socially acceptable things to talk about.

sometimes, it's not even what they say, but their facial expressions and nonverbal communication. the previous licensed clinical social worker asked how far i walked per week. answered. her response was like a kindergarden teacher's cheering on students. yeah, that was critical.

positive judgments are just as judgmental as negative ones.

when precious lil "people" sit there with a running commentary. make comments like "i like your haircut". that sounds innocent and positive. but it also sounds like the speaker is so arrogant that he/she truly believes that you do not have a moral right to wear a haircut, unless he/she likes it. likewise, it also makes me wonder how many total judgments are going through those precious lil "people's" lil heads, such that they have all those condecending patronizing compliments to give out.

sometimes it's also the tone. the tone of voice has physical properties that could get scientifically measured with devices and machines. (fine). but that is not practical or convenient. for daily purposes, it's just hearing something and then responding.

Don't try to talk to them about the depression. Talk about something else or do an activity with them.

If they want to talk about it, just listen and make sure you understand what they say; don't try to give advice or relate their experience to something that you've experienced.

Well, to put it quite bluntly, it doesn't seem like you really wanna help----and, that you're just going-through the motions, cuz you think it's something you're SUPPOSE to do.

It doesn't seem like you really want to help, because you said "You don't know what I am going through."----it seems, instead, that you're kinda resentful that you have to listen to someone ELSE'S problems, when YOU'VE got problems, of your OWN, and no one is helping / listening to YOU; so, "Why do I have to do this, for somebody else?"-type thing.

I would say, if you really don't WANT to try and help someone, DON'T----just say something, like: "I'm sorry, I can't deal with this, right now, cuz I've got issues of my own", or something like that. You might think that's rude, or whatever, but you're doing alot WORSE, with the things you're saying, to people----ALOT worse. Also, often, when someone says they've got their own issues, you'd be surprised at the number of people, who'll say: "Oh, really, what's going-on with you?", and sincerely mean it / want to help----and, thus, you've given them a diversion, and they'll forget about their OWN problems, for a bit (and that'll be helpful). I wouldn't suggest using this as a ploy, though, cuz then you're just "trying to help" to satisfy your OWN need, for help----and then, that's just purely selfish.

What I'm going to say is a lot more general and a bit beside this specific topic.

It seems to me that you are a person who is very guided by rules. Sometimes this can cause someone to use a "one size fits all" approach to people, which they often take badly to. People want to be "seen" for the individual they are. When in doubt, it might be a good idea to ask questions and otherwise exercise your listening skills. You can't possibly fix someone's depression, only they can do that, but it is possible to give some respite.

Please do not try to give depressed people advice. It's usually stuff they've thought of themselves but are unable to do, and all you end up doing is treating them like morons.

When I was depressed I wanted people to sympathize with me. I wanted others to hear me out & feel like they understood & related on some level.