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When Aspie women and Aspie men don't get along

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Enceladus
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21 Oct 2017, 4:09 pm

There's a tendency I've seen at many meetups that some Aspie men scare women away for various reasons. This makes me sad and I'm trying to understand why this happens.

I don't think it's intentional by the men. I think some of the reason might be Aspies general poor understanding of social norms, this of course varies greatly from Aspie to Aspie, it's a spectrum after all. Some Aspies will be very direct in their communication, they will speak their mind without any filters. This can upset some people. Others just try to look past it and take no offence.

In general there are a lot more men at these meetups than women. I wish more women would stay long enough to reach a critical mass where they can sort of rely more on each other and better tolerate the few men who don't know how to behave.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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21 Oct 2017, 4:43 pm

I don't participate in certain forums on this site (like Love and Dating) because of the hostile environment for aspie women created by the men here. There is a population of autistic men that seem incapable of talking to autistic women like we are actual human beings and it makes finding support for autistic women incredibly difficult.



Luna035
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22 Oct 2017, 6:17 am

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
I don't participate in certain forums on this site (like Love and Dating) because of the hostile environment for aspie women created by the men here. There is a population of autistic men that seem incapable of talking to autistic women like we are actual human beings and it makes finding support for autistic women incredibly difficult.

I found this interesting. I would like to add friends from here. :roll:



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23 Oct 2017, 4:02 am

From what I can tell from L&D is that some men are very lonely & very frustrated by their lack of success with women. They say things out of frustration that the women interpret to mean all women when in reality the men are just talking about the women they've interacted with & their experiences. The women get upset & accuse the men of being misogynist & go on about how they don't want to date any autistic men based on their experiences with some autistic men which seems hypocritical to me since they're lumping all guys into one category just like the women complained that the men did. Next thing you know there's a sexes war. I was one of the guys who fell into that category & had that happen to me but very thankfully i have a girlfriend now who I met on this forum. She read alot of my post about what I was wanting in a relationship, the way I am in a relationship & what I had to offer & PMed me.


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Esmerelda Weatherwax
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23 Oct 2017, 10:21 am

^^ awww :-) (this is not! meant to be sarcastic.)


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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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23 Oct 2017, 1:02 pm

nick007 wrote:
From what I can tell from L&D is that some men are very lonely & very frustrated by their lack of success with women. They say things out of frustration that the women interpret to mean all women when in reality the men are just talking about the women they've interacted with & their experiences. The women get upset & accuse the men of being misogynist & go on about how they don't want to date any autistic men based on their experiences with some autistic men which seems hypocritical to me since they're lumping all guys into one category just like the women complained that the men did. Next thing you know there's a sexes war. I was one of the guys who fell into that category & had that happen to me but very thankfully i have a girlfriend now who I met on this forum. She read alot of my post about what I was wanting in a relationship, the way I am in a relationship & what I had to offer & PMed me.


Not wanting to be around aspie men because of how aspie men specifically have treated you is perfectly reasonable. If they wouldn't be so sh***y to women and would talk to us like we're human beings (instead of constantly accusing us of lying and being like NT women) then maybe they wouldn't have the problems with dating that they do. It's not unfair to ask autistic men to not be sexist pigs against autistic women so we can enjoy this support site too.



Ragnahawk
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23 Oct 2017, 1:54 pm

Please stop saying men. I don't want to be labeled as something I'm not.


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23 Oct 2017, 2:50 pm

Okay I get it Kathracice we should have been aborted from birth and not have seen the light from day. We are sleazy bastards.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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23 Oct 2017, 4:05 pm

ZachGoodwin wrote:
Okay I get it Kathracice we should have been aborted from birth and not have seen the light from day. We are sleazy bastards.


Not what I said. Just stop telling me I'm lying when I talk about my own experiences, and stop making sexist generalizations about women and telling us how we think. That was all I got whenever I posted in L&D, which is why I stopped participating there.



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23 Oct 2017, 4:10 pm

How am I doing any of that? I'm only assuming what you are thinking based on what you are saying like what you are doing with me. There is a women's discussion part of this forum if you feel that only men can't see from your perspective, since love and dating is open to men and women. Sorry for the misunderstanding.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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23 Oct 2017, 5:57 pm

ZachGoodwin wrote:
How am I doing any of that? I'm only assuming what you are thinking based on what you are saying like what you are doing with me. There is a women's discussion part of this forum if you feel that only men can't see from your perspective, since love and dating is open to men and women. Sorry for the misunderstanding.


If you're not one of the guys who does the things I mentioned, them I'm not talking about you. I never said every single guy here does that. Some guys were nice to me. But there were enough making the environment hostile to women that I don't want to participate in certain forums anymore.



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23 Oct 2017, 6:13 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
How am I doing any of that? I'm only assuming what you are thinking based on what you are saying like what you are doing with me. There is a women's discussion part of this forum if you feel that only men can't see from your perspective, since love and dating is open to men and women. Sorry for the misunderstanding.


If you're not one of the guys who does the things I mentioned, them I'm not talking about you. I never said every single guy here does that. Some guys were nice to me. But there were enough making the environment hostile to women that I don't want to participate in certain forums anymore.

If you were like water when you talk, people would not find weakpoints to attack you. Stop being opinion based towards men in general. It ain't like we chose our gender. You also should respect that females make the same kind of attack on males. What creates the strong divide is culture. It's okay to be offended over little things as a female. While being offended as a man is seen as weakness. You should try being a little stronger. I want equality too. It's gonna happen unless both genders get over their genders and accept each other for their flaws and culture.


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23 Oct 2017, 6:24 pm

Ragnahawk wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
How am I doing any of that? I'm only assuming what you are thinking based on what you are saying like what you are doing with me. There is a women's discussion part of this forum if you feel that only men can't see from your perspective, since love and dating is open to men and women. Sorry for the misunderstanding.


If you're not one of the guys who does the things I mentioned, them I'm not talking about you. I never said every single guy here does that. Some guys were nice to me. But there were enough making the environment hostile to women that I don't want to participate in certain forums anymore.

If you were like water when you talk, people would not find weakpoints to attack you. Stop being opinion based towards men in general. It ain't like we chose our gender. You also should respect that females make the same kind of attack on males. What creates the strong divide is culture. It's okay to be offended over little things as a female. While being offended as a man is seen as weakness. You should try being a little stronger. I want equality too. It's gonna happen unless both genders get over their genders and accept each other for their flaws and culture.


Best post on this thread. I wish people could just see individuals instead of categorizations. Modern society oppresses everyone in different ways and something radical needs to happen.



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23 Oct 2017, 6:27 pm

Marknis wrote:
Ragnahawk wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
How am I doing any of that? I'm only assuming what you are thinking based on what you are saying like what you are doing with me. There is a women's discussion part of this forum if you feel that only men can't see from your perspective, since love and dating is open to men and women. Sorry for the misunderstanding.


If you're not one of the guys who does the things I mentioned, them I'm not talking about you. I never said every single guy here does that. Some guys were nice to me. But there were enough making the environment hostile to women that I don't want to participate in certain forums anymore.

If you were like water when you talk, people would not find weakpoints to attack you. Stop being opinion based towards men in general. It ain't like we chose our gender. You also should respect that females make the same kind of attack on males. What creates the strong divide is culture. It's okay to be offended over little things as a female. While being offended as a man is seen as weakness. You should try being a little stronger. I want equality too. It's gonna happen unless both genders get over their genders and accept each other for their flaws and culture.


Best post on this thread. I wish people could just see individuals instead of categorizations. Modern society oppresses everyone in different ways and something radical needs to happen.

That project is a prototype at the moment. Your talking to him. Yes I want to change the world.


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I've migrated over to autismforums. PM me for anything, although I'm better contacted over at autismforums.


karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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23 Oct 2017, 6:29 pm

Ragnahawk wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
How am I doing any of that? I'm only assuming what you are thinking based on what you are saying like what you are doing with me. There is a women's discussion part of this forum if you feel that only men can't see from your perspective, since love and dating is open to men and women. Sorry for the misunderstanding.


If you're not one of the guys who does the things I mentioned, them I'm not talking about you. I never said every single guy here does that. Some guys were nice to me. But there were enough making the environment hostile to women that I don't want to participate in certain forums anymore.

If you were like water when you talk, people would not find weakpoints to attack you. Stop being opinion based towards men in general. It ain't like we chose our gender. You also should respect that females make the same kind of attack on males. What creates the strong divide is culture. It's okay to be offended over little things as a female. While being offended as a man is seen as weakness. You should try being a little stronger. I want equality too. It's gonna happen unless both genders get over their genders and accept each other for their flaws and culture.


I'll work on being stronger so people won't attack me, and I'll start by telling you to piss off and what you wrote here is BS.



Ragnahawk
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23 Oct 2017, 6:34 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Ragnahawk wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
How am I doing any of that? I'm only assuming what you are thinking based on what you are saying like what you are doing with me. There is a women's discussion part of this forum if you feel that only men can't see from your perspective, since love and dating is open to men and women. Sorry for the misunderstanding.


If you're not one of the guys who does the things I mentioned, them I'm not talking about you. I never said every single guy here does that. Some guys were nice to me. But there were enough making the environment hostile to women that I don't want to participate in certain forums anymore.

If you were like water when you talk, people would not find weakpoints to attack you. Stop being opinion based towards men in general. It ain't like we chose our gender. You also should respect that females make the same kind of attack on males. What creates the strong divide is culture. It's okay to be offended over little things as a female. While being offended as a man is seen as weakness. You should try being a little stronger. I want equality too. It's gonna happen unless both genders get over their genders and accept each other for their flaws and culture.


I'll work on being stronger so people won't attack me, and I'll start by telling you to piss off and what you wrote here is BS.

I'll stand by it like a fool until you tell me why. To reach the truth one must assume both sides are true.


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I will offend everybody, if it brings understanding. That means being extra critical. - Was the wrong answer. People are better guided than pushed.

I've migrated over to autismforums. PM me for anything, although I'm better contacted over at autismforums.