What is respect?

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I didn't want to derail this thread: viewtopic.php?t=357142 so I decided to ask that question in a new topic.
There are accusations of "lack of respect" and it seems different persons see different behaviors as respectful or disrespectful.

I know many NTs read my inability to read meaningful glances as disrespect. They would be probably sick if they saw me talking to my boss (also on the spectrum) like he was just my acquaintance. But to me, they are often disrespectful in not listening, not trying to understand and imposting their own pov on me, discarding anything I try to tell.

What are your views on respect ad disrespect?

Respect is treating other people like you want to be treated.

I don't believe pure "hierarchy" entitles one to "respect."

I believe being a person entitles you to basic respect.

Like.....there's no reason to yell at a person when a person expresses an opinion different from yours. This is the time for dialogue. For reasoned, RESPECTFUL discussion.

Yes, exactly that.

Examples:
1. Accepting a person for who they are
2. Acknowledging that a person is in a room and invite them along rather than make plans with others people in front of them
3.Being appreciative of someone who invites you to something and accepting that others of different age and interest difference are present.
4. If someone is uncomfortable with something that you are doing, they will let you know that personally while not gossiping.

Nice answers!
I'd like to add - to acknowledge that someone's thoughts/feelings/points of view are just as valid as yours, no matter how much they might differ.

For me, respect is acknowledging that we're all people, we're all in this together, and as long as no one is being hurt (I don't mean feelings, feelings get hurt, there's literally no way around that) then it's not anyone's place to tell anyone else who or how to be.

Respect is a lack of deliberate imposition, an awareness of value, and an appreciation for both of those things.

As a side note, while I agree to a certain extent that respect is earned and not given, I will absolutely always respect that every person I meet owes me nothing and I know nothing about them. I will respect their existence and open myself to being able to respect them more in-depth, but I WILL withdraw all respect if I am disrespected in full awareness and intent to do so.

I think respect means seeing someone as human and giving them credit and treating them nicely and listening to them and doing what they say and valuing what they said and their opinion.


Speaking of disrespect, my school said in 6th grade I was being disrespectful and my mom asked me about it at home and I was like "what? No I'm not" because to me disrespect was talking back and being sassy and calling them names and not listening or following their rules and directions and I was doing none of that in class. So my mom had me video taped to see what was going on and what was I doing that was "disrespectful" falling asleep in class or reading a book or writing because the student teacher was very boring and would go bla bla bla and all students were bored. They were acting worse than me and i was only reading or writing or resting my head down on my desk. the school wasn't harping about the whole class being disrespectful but me.

I was also raised to believe that respect is given until that person proves they do not deserve it. I never understood the other way around.

It's a two-way street. Respect and you will be respected.

Kraftie and Summer_Twilight summed up pretty well how I personally see respect, and I'd add that respect is acknowledging that a person is an individual, not part of a group/label/etc.

There are three types of respect I have for people:

1: Respecting others as fellow human beings. This respect is shown by treating others well and minding my manners with them as well as helping them when I can.

2: Respecting people for what they're able to do, like respecting one's favorite author for being able to create such a great story or respecting my old classmate for her unnatural skills in mathematics.

3: Respecting someone as a special person; like having a lot of respect for someone because of their endless patience.

If someone is unsure about how to treat people respectifully, the "treat others like you'd wish them to treat you" -thing is a good advice.

There is no method of measuring respect




Some of us are so arrogant and narcissistic, that we verbally announce every single time time someone does something we do not like as "disrespectful"

That is lazy language

Standards of respect differ, with location and time

Someone had the nerve to tell me that I was "rude" for knocking on the bathroom door

Someone else had the nerve to tell me off, for failing to knock on the bathroom door

It was the same bathroom at different times

They act like they have veto power or authority over anything someone else does, just because they do not like it

As if they have a moral right to get whatever they want immediately

"Pick your battles" does not apply to them

They have big egoes

And then they refuse to change anything they do, even if it is illegal

Example. Someone had the nerve to tape record me talking. That is illegal. Off leash dogs. ("People do it all the time")

That statement, one paragraph above this one, in parenthesis, sounded disrespectful to me, in that it sounded like the speaker acted like she represented "people" and I was not a person. Because the speaker was in the majority and I was in the minority

Of course the speaker did not necessarily intend it that way

Lazy language

Pretty much I consider it kind of rude to grunt "huh" and "what" instead of "excuse me". Especially when the speaker acted like every thought And emotion going through his or her head is as important and awesome as the latest greatest scientific discovery

And then when I say something they half listen and grunt "what?". Like that is the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me"

The solar system contains more convicted rapists than Nobel Peace prize winners but that doesn't mean that the activity with more participants is morally superior

I see a lot of ultra respectful people on this thread. Wonderful ideas.

Krafty, I can only imagine how easy it would be to get along with you. I've become familiar with your posts for nearly two years. You are a comedian and a diplomat at the same time.

Thanks, History. You made me smile and blush a little