Have male aspies the same desires as NTs concerning women?

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Hallo,

sometimes i wonder about the problems men have with women. Autistic people seem to be similar to NT-men in that case. I don't believe the problems occur only because of the autistic character. Or it would be really worth to think about the NT-Science, pretending, an autistic brain would be one of an extreme masculin character. So, in this case, the problems in relationship with women mustn't lead to different solutions than the effort of NT-men does.

What do you think of women? Don't you like autistic women? Do you want to have NT-women? Don't you want to have true conversations? Or is there anything wrong with my observation? Do you really feel ret*d PERSONALLY, as characters???

I'm thinking of the case, someone here met a woman in the forest 5 days ago, and felt necessary to lie to her. I think if this one is that crazy to have contact with someone, met in the forest, than i suppose she is autistic too, but didn't ever think seriously of that. Neither did I. Women simply must learn TYPICAL social interactions, cause otherwise they simply can't survive! A boy having problem in school is considered to be highly gifted, a girl with THIS KIND of typical "male" problems (social/communication) would be CERTAINLY, without any doubt, hallmarked as ret*d or PSYCHOTIC. Nobody would talk about her gifts seriously, nor about her beeing autistic. She wouldn't even have the right to be autistic, of the less cruel modifications, like atypical, or asperger.

That's my story. Althought i've finaly made it to a student. Nobody supposed me to be gifted or autistic. They wanted to put me out of society. I never did anything wrong. I wasn't agressive, the only thing i did, was starring at the teacher by givin slow answers, (althought i could talk with my friends and i even could write 2 years before i went to school the first time), beeing timid, still, nice, behaving correct(not absent or inactive, CORRECT), and forgeting my homework. The cruelest thing i've ever done was saying sincererily the truth, continously,not beeing able to lie until i went to high-school. Well, i didn't annoy anyone. By saying the truth i mean not disturbing continously. I spoke when i was asked to. Nowadays, there's no doubt i am / or at least have been specially gifted in maths and languages, no wonder i can read and write since i'm 4 years old.

OH, okay, that was too much already. Would be nice to read yoiur Ideas about relationships.

bye,
kassandra

PS: please excuse my english, I'm from germany

I believe NT girls expect guys to act a certain way. Either through upbringing or nature, girls grow up putting a large importance on social interaction.

Yes, probably.

I don't understand, how this is related to my questions, what AUTISTIC Boys desire from women?
What NT-Woman desire, isn't important for me in that case.

Some will, some won't.
I like some girls with AS.

I have never met, in person, a woman with AS/autism, so I cannot say I have a preference either way.
I agree, society is probably harsher with an aspie girl than with an aspie boy, though I haven't witnessed it.

hello kassandra,

i am not the best person to ask about how AS men feel (wrong gender) but i certainly relate to your own experiences: not being gifted, but being overlooked in my problems and having to fit, not being able to lie and whatnot.

your english is fairly good, certainly compared to others on here. what is a little more difficult is your sentence structure and flip of subject half way through. but i can relate to that also.

i see that you are new here, welcome.

thanks sepia

We desire what everyone desires. Also, please attempt to avoid use of the word ret*d on the forums. It touches nerves.

Postscript-I'm partial to psychotic women.

Everyones an individual, no one is the same based on their mental conditions.

Yep, or anything else for that matter.

Definitely true.
One thing that bothered me in the one almost relationship like thing I have experienced is being indirect. I was expected to read all these signals. I didn't have a clue.

Have male aspies the same desires as NTs concerning women? I guess so, since we all have the same biological basis.

I know what you mean, same thing happened to me.

Exactly. That gets on my nerves so much that I have given up on the whole thing. If the author of this essay (http://www.lloydianaspects.co.uk/evolve/clue.html) is right, the problem is unavoidable.

In answer to the original question, I think there is no qualitative difference between AS and NT men in what they want from women, but Aspie men experience a greater average quantitative gap between the wishes of each partner in a relationship and what the other can offer.

Gromit

I don't know about everyone else but personally, I don't go round thinking 'oh, I want some friends, but only if they are all Aspergian'

I just take people as they come, whatever they are.

I don't have much respect for people that surrender to this sort of irrational, destructive instinctive behaviour (men who cheat on loving, faithful wives/gfs also fall in this category) however much evolutionary sense it may make (murdering your rivals also makes evolutionary sense). Now, if there were only some way to become asexual without side effects...