Female aspiēs and friendships with boys

Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,344
Location: Near London United Kingdom

13 Nov 2017, 6:50 pm

I read up that aspiē females often like too have male friends.

Do you think that is a lot easier for female aspies too have male buddys compared too say a man with aspergers who would like too have female friends?

Obviously women don't have the stigma of 'creepy' and 'stalker' when pursuing friendships with men compared too vice versa



chromanebula
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 55
Location: Atlanta

14 Nov 2017, 1:44 am

Yes, I think so. A lot of traits of autism spectrum disorders are "masculine" traits (like a preference for systemizing over empathizing), so women with ASDs should have more in common with your average guy than NT women. I know can see guys as friends.



fluffysaurus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,723
Location: England

18 Nov 2017, 4:59 pm

I am female Aspie. For me it's the fact that NT men are much more straight forward than most NT females. They are also more fact based in their interests and conversation, and less inclined to judge me because I did not ask eg 'what did the baby weigh'.

Unfortunately this all falls apart when the possibility of relationships comes up, they then become not at all straight forward and expect you to react in the way they see as normal for a female which is NT.

The similarities between Aspie females and NT male's are a bit exaggerated I think, yes focus, factual, and straight forward, but so are many male Aspies. And I think emotionally I'm not like a male NT at all.

As a female it is defiantly much easier to approach a male than the other way around to chat or whatever, particularly in comparison to a male Aspie approaching a NT female.



PurpleMoongirl
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 23 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 5
Location: Someplace

23 Nov 2017, 11:55 am

Very true i am a an 18 year old female and back in secondry school used to hang around with a group of girls (mainly because some freinds are better than no freinds i really didnt talk that much)
anyway it was very stressful i didnt know how to approach the conversation when to change it who to sit by ecetra with a group of guys this became a lot easier. Still hard but easier

Now i have a handful of freinds mostly guys who i have one on one relationships (i.e they dont know eachother diffrent places) much better!! !



StampySquiddyFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,754
Location: Stampy's Lovely World

23 Nov 2017, 12:22 pm

I had only male friends throughout primary/elementary school, because I just got along with them better. I understood how they thought, while neurotypical girls were a mystery to me. I think it is easier for a female aspie to have male friends than the other way around, just due to stereotypes. Today, I have mainly female friends, but they all have a disability like me. I never make friends with neurotypical girls. I just don’t understand them. :D


_________________
Hi! I'm Stampy (not the actual YouTuber, just a fan!) and I have been diagnosed professionally with ASD and OCD and likely have TS. If you have any questions or just want to talk, please feel free to PM me!

Current Interests: Stampy Cat, AGT, and Medicine


LegoMaster2149
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jul 2017
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,059

27 Nov 2017, 11:28 am

I usually feel like I get along with girls more than guys. A lot of guys I see sound and act immature around me, which kinda bothers me, and I really don't understand them much.

-LegoMaster2149 (Written on November 27, 2017)



Canary
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Sep 2016
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 603
Location: Midwest

27 Nov 2017, 2:03 pm

I mostly spent time with women growing up and felt that guys often didn't want me around. Little boys on the block went through the "cooties" phase and wanted their older brothers to think they were cool, and hanging out with weird little girls wasn't cool.

There were times I was mostly around men, though, like in certain classes or hobbies. I never thought it was easier, just that we had more to potentially talk about at times or that they seemed more comfortable in a classroom full of men and talked more.

I've never thought they were more straightforward.



crystaltermination
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2016
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,029
Location: UK

06 Dec 2017, 8:19 am

I'm not entirely sure why, but discounting the large stretches of time when I've not been socially active whatsoever, if past contact is anything to go by I've always seemingly had far more friendships with males than females. I would play the vigorous games with the boys in my playschool and avoid tagging along in the girl's games because I found that sort of play utterly dull. I was very upset when we all got a bit older and suddenly my gender became a factor for those boys to ostracize me out of their circle.
I have a few female friends today, and I cherish them (secretly - so as not to come off any weirder than I already do!) but feel I relate better with men than women.


_________________
On hiatus thanks to someone in real life breaching my privacy here, without my permission! May be back one day. +tips hat+


PearlsofWisdom
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 477

01 Jan 2018, 6:07 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I read up that aspiē females often like too have male friends.

Do you think that is a lot easier for female aspies too have male buddys compared too say a man with aspergers who would like too have female friends?



I like to have male friends, but even when the stigma attached is that you can't have more than too many friends.(Even though a few would seem too many for someone like me).
I don't pursue men too often in love, because I think its too easy to find someone and then get rejected for being too boring. I think we find the thrill of the chase somewhat more appealing.. still age has its limits when it sheds natural maturity.
I'm not shy with all my past rendezvous experience either, but I'm yet to find someone I can really click with and attach to on a mental and physical level.



anti_gone
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 18 Jul 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 237

03 Jan 2018, 5:03 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I read up that aspiē females often like too have male friends.

Do you think that is a lot easier for female aspies too have male buddys compared too say a man with aspergers who would like too have female friends?

Obviously women don't have the stigma of 'creepy' and 'stalker' when pursuing friendships with men compared too vice versa


I have mostly male friends, which may be due to the fact that I mostly know men (from studying computer science) and that I tend to have more "male" interests. Also, dealing with men is a lot easier for me since they are - in my experience - more straight forward. Several women I tried to befriend were really nice in the beginning and seemed interested until they suddenly canceled all meetings and I didn't know why. Sorry for the stereotypes, I also have some female friends, but I seem to get along with men more easily.

About your question: Since I have male friends these male friends obviously have me as one of their female friends. So I don't really get what your question is about? Or are you talking about having female NT friends as male aspie?



hannahjrob
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 5 Feb 2016
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 136

04 Jan 2018, 12:07 am

As a child, I had mostly female friends, but as an adult, I have definitely found that I get along and relate better to males.