Who else hates the phrase "What's up?"?

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Ranting ahead, fair warning.

God how I utterly despise that inquiry, it makes my blood boil with indignation and racks my mind with confusion. It's as sardonic and obnoxious as it is confusing and irrational. After 19 years of being alive I have yet to find a proper reply thereto and I don't believe I ever will... It's evolved over the years from shocked silence to a timid "hi" to gritting my teeth and mechanically rehearsing "Fine, how 'bout you?" but these are all equally awkward to me.

Beating a dead horse though it may seem, the question is asked without the slightest hint of sincerity or genuine inquisitiveness. It is almost never the case that whoever who asks "What's up?", "How are you?", "What's on your mind?" expects an honest or reasonable reply to such a question; making known one's true machinations is wholly inappropriate and even offensive in the context in which it's used, as is stating one's true mood or intentions when they're not salubrious and extroverted. God forbid a sincere reply to such an invasive question should ever escape your mouth instead of the pre-programed deception that we're so conditioned to concede at the utterance of that phrase, you would frighten the poor creature away with your honesty.

It is humiliating and disingenuous in the sense that it defeats choice preemptively and sets itself up to ensnare you in a pitfall of conformity. What I mean by that is - The only appropriate answer to that question to he who asks is some variant of:

I'm fine, how 'bout you?
I'm great, thanks for asking
Good
Or the least banal:
Nothin'

Is any rational human being - let alone an Aspie, ever truly contented with such a sweeping statement? In the case of the first three it's hardly ever so simple, and in the case of the last, absolute rubbish! None of these replies are organic: None of them reflect one's inner toils or passions and overshadow the profound musings of one's heart with a cloak of vanity. They defeat the possibility of further elaboration with their dishonesty. It is a verbal contract, given against the consent of its signatories, to which one must acquiesce their rights to a profound or interesting conversation before being allowed to proceed with the inevitable drivel we call "Small talk".

"But shyteddy", you quip, "A stranger has no interest in knowing such things about somebody they've never met or know anything about". To which I say that is precisely my point ~ The only time it's appropriate, to my senses, to use "What's up?" or any of its derivatives is when you really want to explore the depths of someone's heart. When you're ready to hear an ugly, saddening, intriguing, breathtaking, possibly banal, or highly complex answer to the question (because in real life there's hardly an ever optimistic and unthinking person), or when you're ready to discuss life in depth and get to know somebody on an intimate level - then ask them, by all means, how they are, then brace yourself, because the depth of ones humanity cannot be summarized in a single sentence. But asking the question in casual conversation is irrational and bizarre to me. It's like asking somebody "How's your gall bladder?" as a conversation starter, I don't understand how this saying ever seeped its way into our everyday vernacular or why its ubiquitously used as a greeting across many cultures and languages, but if I did, I suppose I wouldn't be an Aspie on Wrongplanet... Anywho, that's why I hate the phrase "what's up?". I hope that I'm not alone in this sentiment.

I think it’s more like people care.....but they care superficially.

I hate it too. But its a friendly greeting. I guy bonded with a worked would say it to me.

What is like all of the BS greeting questions folks spout like "how ya doin'?", except that...its WORSE than all of those question, because unlike all of those variants on "how are you?" there is no stock reply (or if there IS I never got the memo saying what it is).

If someone says "how are you?" you can always "I'm fine, thank you, how are you?".
But what is the equivalent answer to "what's up?"?


I guess you could say "not much, whats up with you?", or even just skip "whats up with you?".

I dunno. I guess I just answered my own question. Lol!

A guy at work asks me that, and I'm fighting so hard not to say "the sky" that I end up saying nothing at all, to which he replies "I see how it is."

I heard an NT (I think?) reply to him with "nothin'," and this seemed to be an acceptable answer to him. I'm trying to rewrite my script, even "hey" would be fine, but it's difficult, especially when only one person in my life does it, and only occasionally.

Of course they don't really want to know how you're doing. Even if they ask "how are you?", it's just a greeting and you're just supposed to echo it back to them.

Hmm, on that thought, maybe replying with an echoed "whazzaaaap?" is the answer

One of my favorite shows as an adolescent was "What's Happenin'?" LOL

Weird, huh?

I like & use that phrase. What I found annoying was those Budweiser commercials using it

...and then everyone copied it for a period. I remember my peers exclaiming the greeting in primary school, eventually to my considerable chagrin.

I'm not annoyed by it, I just don't know what the appropriate response is so I usually end up mumbling something awkwardly then quickly saying something else. I'm not sure anyone knows...

Me, but I don't share your level of hatred for it.

I feel like my hands are tied when people use the phrase. Is it meant as a greeting, or are they trying to start conversation? If it's the latter, then the responsibility for starting the unwanted conversation suddenly shifts to me. Now I'm pressured to think of something interesting to say.

Or this happens:

"Hey, what's up?"

"Oh, nothing really...you?"

"Oh."

"Hey, what's up?"

Me: 'The ceiling'

Also:

"Hey, what's up?"

Me: "Sky."

I knew a guy who would say "My big dick"