Dealing with a potentially toxic friendship?

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So I've been friends with this person in my college for almost two years now. At first, things were great between us - we had similar interests, similar outlooks on life, and... well, we were just quite similar to each other. However, some problems began to show soon enough.

A few months after we met, she began to lash out at me. I'm not sure if it's because of the kind of person she is, or if I'm just an easy target for her to take out her own frustrations and sadness at her academic and personal life, but in any case, that's what began to happen. For a while now, I've just brushed this off as either the latter thing happening, or just part of my problem with not being able to take personal criticism. Then, it happened.

A few days ago, while we were hanging out with mutual friends, she gave me a letter. In this letter, not only was she extremely critical of me in a way that can only be interpreted as a personal attack, but she also tried to take my own frustration and sadness at certain parts of my life (which I was quite open about with her), and make it seem like it was an attack against her, and that I was being childish and manipulative by being upset. In other words, she took my own personal dejection, made it all about her, and then acted like I was being an awful person for acting that way.

It was after this that I realized that not just in this case, but in general, she has been using me as someone to take out her problems on.

Since then, I have been questioning whether or not this friendship is worth keeping the way that it is. On one hand, I still very much admire this person in some ways, and there are very few people in my life who are like her. On the other hand, I still have my pride, and I cannot allow myself to become someone else's personal punching bag. At this point, I am at a loss as to what to do.

To me, it seems that if she took TIME to actually write a letter out, then you may really be worth something to her. I've found that most people nowadays tend to just cut you off abruptly (often with ghosting) if they are tired of you, annoyed or offended by something you said. I've had close friends just drop off like I was nothing, sending me in a tizzy of "please tell me what I did wrong".

Your friend has given you the courtesy of at least TRYING to communicate, so that's worth a lot in my opinion! Think about it... gossiping about it or posting it on social media is more gratifying for most people. She seems to be a bit courteous about it.

I feel like it's worth confronting her about the letter. Ask if she would meet up over coffee or something to talk about how the letter made you feel and she can elaborate on what she meant. Just be mature and level headed way and try not to get emotional - she may have just wrote the letter hastily and from a heavy emotional state, but if she hears you coming from a rational standpoint, she may be able to respond more rationally as well.

If it was MY letter and the friend took it seriously and wanted to work it out, I would be super impressed (and probably apologetic)! ! If you approach humbly and with the attitude that you are willing to change as long as she is too, then you might be able to find compromise and understand each other better. Maybe not, but worth a shot I think. Confrontations are hard. Good luck!! !!