PhosphorusDecree wrote:
Amanda G23 wrote:
This is so true, and so frustrating! I took a course in which I was told that 93% of communication is nonverbal. When I heard that, my jaw (metaphorically) hit the floor. Supposedly, 55% of communication is body language, 38% is tone of voice, and only 7% is the actual words spoken. I think the assertion is exaggerated and simplistic, but it was spoken as though it were a fact, and no one there, besides myself, seemed to have any trouble believing it! There must be at least some truth to it. It would partially explain why so many people listen so poorly, if only 7% of their attention is on what you're actually saying.
I'm slowly coming round to that point of view. One reason is the word "not." On paper, it's one of the fundamental tools of logic, and thus of thought. In speech, it's a little word that people fail to hear a good 50% of the time. I used to try to be flexible when making plans with people, but when I'd say "I can do Tuesday or Wednesday, but not Thursday," the usual response was "OK, that's settled. See you on Thursday."
This. Drives. Me. Insane!
I have on *many* occasions gone even further than you describe above - "I can do Monday or Thursday. Absolutely no other days. ONLY Monday or Thursday." and they come back with "OK, Wednesday at 10?"
And I. Want. To. Throttle. Them.
But of course one must be polite, because at least in my experience this type of active misunderstanding usually travels with serious passive-aggressive traits. It's almost a form of solipsism - you don't really exist, your efforts to communicate are just the sighing of the wind.
Maddening.
_________________
"I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people," said the man. "You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides."
-- Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!