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Nierly
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03 Jun 2018, 5:52 pm

Just as the title said, I don’t understand friends.

I’ve always been best buds with friend A, she was my first friend. We only meet irl maybe three times a year, and every time she would be extremely flaky with me, changing up the plans and saying that I need to understand even though I tell her that I need her to be straight with me. She also left me by myself multiple times for her other pals. Each time we meet, I somehow end up in tears from how stressful it all is. I thought all of this was normal till I met friend B

Friend B took time to explain things for me, and tries to make the plan as simple as possible, she doesn’t ditch me for other pals and doesn’t get mad at me. Because this I noticed that I shouldn’t be crying and thanking her so much just for being a decent friend.

I don’t know what to do, I love friend a with all my heart and we get along just fine online, it’s just irl that it’s hard. I don’t want to dump her, but it just hurts :oops:


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ladyelaine
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03 Jun 2018, 7:17 pm

Friend B sounds like a really good friend. Friends like this one are rare. Keep this friend.

Friend A sounds way too concerned with social climbing and acquiring popular people as friends. This friend seems to only interact with you when nobody else is around. Most people are like Friend A and not worth wasting time with. Dump this friend.



AprilR
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03 Jun 2018, 10:00 pm

I think keep both of them but don't get close to either of them. It's not healthy to be dependent to people too much.



schuplanet
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17 Jun 2018, 8:05 am

i agree with AprilR :) you shouldn't base your self-esteem too much on how much others want to be with you... (easier said than done, i know...)



HistoryGal
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19 Jun 2018, 8:24 am

I say dump Friend A as she is nothing but a user. Be cautious with Friend B though.



Okkano
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25 Jun 2018, 5:13 am

The others here have already said most of what i would.
I wouldn't consider A a friend.
What you could do before your final decision, is to actually confront her with everything and closely monitor and analyze her reaction and intentions. I consider it unlikely, but she may've not noticed.


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PhosphorusDecree
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27 Jun 2018, 4:29 am

I do have one old friend who I am close to, but who is notoriously flaky about plans. I had to learn to draw some lines, and be willing to say, "nah, I could make the original time but not what you're suggesting now. Never mind."


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