Power Socializing

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It may not be anything personal against us. People tend to associate with those whom are in a position to help them better their position in life.

If you have great social connections and or some wealth, people are going to want to know you.

Of course nobody is going to tell you that. They will ALWAYS be busy and will NOT commit to anything. Learned this the hard way.

People only care about what they can get from you. I am at the very bottom of the social ladder, so people have no use for me. Hell, I'm not even on the ladder. I'm broken and laying on the floor lol.

I'm on the floor too.

I'm not even on the ladder. That's how I low am on the ladder.Even to the point where even aspie women rejected me and didn't wanted to date me.I pretty much have quit even trying to make friends or trying to date and other aspies should do the same just so we don't have to worry being rejected anymore.

That happened to me at an event last month after this woman running this benefit was nice enough to give me a ticket and make a donation. Though she had me come, she treated me like a piece of trash and refused to take my business card and didn't "Have time." However, I met someone who wasn't on the spectrum who is obviously very successful and all this director wanted to do was look at her credentials and she said a few words to her before blowing her off. I also heard her rip on me behind my back to someone else about how she had nothing to do with me and that my other friend had invited me.

Another time, I had dealt with a snotty single mother whose brother the author of a very popular health book. She got the idea that since I am autistic, I was too poor to buy their products sold at his herbal supplement store. "You won't be buying because our products are very expensive." She also didn't want any of the other woman in our age group to associate with me when she was around. In fact, she isolated my from the others and often would jealous and mad if she saw them sitting with me.

I'm not saying give up. I'm saying be realistic. Keep in mind too that many diagnosed with Asperger's are often straddling the NT line which accounts for them fitting in better.

It is true even among NTs that there is a tendency to only socialize with people that can better your position in life. They do this to each other. Us on the other hand are often not counted enough to matter.

None of this means give up but it does mean you may have to create your own brakes.

You may not have seen it but it's there nonetheless.

Sociology is interesting. Kind of like a hobby for me.

Not all NTs do it in an overt manner. Some are subtle about it. Nothing evil about it....just a survival mechanism.

^^ @historygal etc. -- I understand what you are saying, but I can't help believing that there is something - suboptimal, shall we say? - about basing one's interactions with others on the extent to which one can "use" them.

I suppose that all human interactions are usage-based in the final analysis; there's no such thing as unconditional love, really. (Even mother-love, sadly, is often a pose, to make Mama look good to her friends and neighbors.) But I think that's better mourned than celebrated.

Esmeralda, human nature isn't pretty.....

My ex is friends with the lowest people in society. All of them have plenty of friends and don’t have trouble making friends.

On this site, people make frequent theories regarding why we have trouble forming friendships and romantic relationships. It really just comes down to our frequent struggles with social skills and the difficulty in finding others that we share a common ground with.

While I am at the bottom of the ladder, too, I don’t relate to my ex’s friends very well because our problems are different.