How do I get charisma?

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I want to have charisma so I can make friends and maybe a relationship. I also want to do this so I can be better at networking for business. How do I get charisma?

Show interest in other people. Be aware of your own strengths and weaknesses and set your goals accordingly. Be optimistic. Be curious about everything. Be yourself (otherwise the way you present yourself in front of other people won't come off as authentic). Be self-confident about your beliefs. Practise speaking/performing in public. Find common ground with other people so that you have the possibility to draw their attention to you and make them feel like they are part of something. Always make up your own mind about everything rather than being a "follower".

A starting point to get charisma could be an interest of yours or a project you are passionate about. Ideally, you will find people who admire you for what you are doing and/or want to get involved.

This is admittedly all a bit vague and all over the place, but I hope it helps you.

That is a good question. I mean I have been told more than once that I lack charisma...my question has always been, well how do you get it.

uh - 'normal' people like charisma. so you have to be loud, dress nice (or artfully eccentric), but not sloppy, look like you have money, drive a nice car, and be intuitive in how to socialize with people (particularly in a superficial way). i'm *guessing* this might be somewhat difficult for someone on the spectrum..............

i think i would work on trying to be you and develop your own skills, passions, interests, etc --- i'm assuming you're on the spectrum.

Get reincarnated as someone not on the autistic spectrum.

Or you could go to a forum for narcissistic psychopaths and get some tips from them. They know all about increasing one's power to manipulate others through superficial charm, it's all they want to do. You might feel more of a kinship with people in a place like that, if these are the things you want to talk about. I'm sure you'll find lots of people there who want to control others and take over the world and have a "different morality". That's not really what a forum for autistic people is all about, but psychopaths will probably be able to relate to your desires.

I would think being charismatic means: 1) not putting yourself or anyone else down; 2) being interested in what people have to say - this can be difficult especially when a topic might not be your cup of tea (or bluntly, tedious). However, in the context of networking it would be no harm to be a diplomat for a few minutes (it may also teach one tolerance and patience); 3) keeping control of negative emotions such as aforementioned tedious feeling, jealousy/envy, anger. etc. - a very, very brisk walk, a punching bag, etc., etc., are good for letting off steam afterwards if appropriate!; 4) never being the last to leave an event (I'll admit the jury is out on that one).

You gotta hit a 20 on the D20 bruhh

Seems very complex. I don't know how you do that in real life though.

D20?!

Oh, for the good old days when 4d6h3 was good enough for anyone.

First of all, Merriam-Webster provides the following definition:

Charisma: (1) A personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure (such as a political leader); (2) A special magnetic charm or appeal.

What you seem to be asking is "How do I become charming and appealing enough to become popular?" A lot of it has to do with Social Skills. Eduard Ezeanu has an entire website devoted to coaching people in the improvement of their social skills. His article on "How to Be More Social" is worth a read. There are other similar websites, as well.

I also recommend picking up a copy of Norman Vincent Peale's "How to Win Friends & Influence People". It has many valuable insights on social skills.

I struggle with this as a musician. My musical abilities are certainly good enough for the kind of places I perform. But I lack the ability most musicians have to grab the audience's attention before they've even played a note just by how they look, talk and move. I have negative charisma- with a rowdy or inattentive crowd, no matter how well I play I don't stand a chance.

I've experimented with ways to be more charismatic. Variable success, and some methods that work for your average neurotypical failed. Body language: an upright yet relaxed posture does seems to help a bit. (My normal posture is neither.) But moving in a more "dynamic" manner is a bust- based on video evidence, my efforts are either invisible or a bit grotesque. Talking myself up a lot: no, just no. Manic extrovert enthusiasm: ditto, times 10. Self-deprecating humour that plays up my eccentricity: a surprise winner.

I get the feeling from all this that just trying to act like a charismatic neurotypical isn't the answer. Us lot have to work harder to find ways of presenting ourselves that we can sustain, and that aren't completely alien to our real selves.