Does he want to be my friend or am I forcing it?

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Zerkyg
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 2 Jun 2018
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 2

02 Jun 2018, 6:18 am

Hello, I know you don’t know the situation properly but still I’ll ask you for an advice.

I joined a group of Aspies who meet regularly and there’s this guy who I find very sympathetic and it feels so good to be around him, talking, being myself. Every time we meet he’s incredibly talkative, telling me about his interests etc. But when I added him on WhatsApp and tried to chat with him there it feels like I’m forcing him to do it, he never starts the conversation and it just feels like duty I think. The last time we saw each other in person I found out we were both queer and talk about things I’ve never discussed with anyone before. I felt so happy for finding a soul mate. We kept talking on our way home from the meeting but I had to leave the train before we finished the conversation. So I chatted with him online later that day and I ended telling him he’s the first person I told these personal things and he replied that he probably isn’t the best person to support someone. I was the last to write something and it’s been a day and he didn’t answer. Do you thing I should wait for him to reply or wait at least a few days before I try to contact him again? I hope I haven’t offended him somehow and he’ll at least show up at the next meeting. Or is this difference between in person/online chatting usual in some aspies? Thank you for advice!



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

02 Jun 2018, 11:46 am

Zerkyg wrote:
Does he want to be my friend or am I forcing it?
You are forcing it.
Zerkyg wrote:
Do you thing I should wait for him to reply or wait at least a few days before I try to contact him again?
You should wait for him to reply.
Zerkyg wrote:
I hope I haven’t offended him somehow and he’ll at least show up at the next meeting. Or is this difference between in person/online chatting usual in some aspies?
Does not parse. Please restate.
Zerkyg wrote:
Thank you for advice!
You are welcome.



superaliengirl
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 20 Mar 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 289
Location: Scandinavia

05 Jun 2018, 11:34 am

I can only speak for myself and I tend to get overwhelmed especially when it comes to people I know I can talk so openly to. I know the conversation will go on for a long time and might get pretty deep and leave me feeling tired so sometimes I avoid them even if I miss them (and I might avoid answering for a while when they've texted me) and of course that can be interpreted wrong. I have aspie friends whom I can go weeks between speaking to but we're still great friends.