I can only take so much negativity

Post Reply New Topic

Certain people at WP, and I specifically refuse to name them, are persistently and constantly negative in their beliefs and expectations. I do try to advise, help, and show sympathy for them. But I have to turn away at some point or it will poison my own experience.

This is never more true than in "making friends" or "dating" forums. Do you people (and I assume you know who you are) realize that paradoxically, expressing that much negativity pretty much guarantees you will drive people away from you? Which then validates your pessimism, etc.

I give up. I have un-followed certain threads because I just can't deal with that much negativity. Look, I have depression and problems too, and part of my self-care is "avoiding negative people."

From offering encouragement and compliments to others, to actively looking for things to feel grateful for, I try hard to take the high road, see the glass as half full, and be happy and positive. It's not always easy. But it beats the alternative, you know?

Is it me? I think this is good feedback.

I’m hated by a lot of people here based on how I allow my depression to manifest.

You've just been handed a tough time, and a six week challenge to deal with, Bea, and it makes total sense for you to reserve your strength for dealing with that. Avoiding things that stress you without benefiting you also makes total sense. I wish you healing and strength...

(Something that may help, when folks are cynical and it bugs you something fierce, is yet another thing my Dad taught me when I was young: cynicism is often an indication of disappointed idealism. That perspective has helped me to understand others' cynicism and to rein in my own when it's getting out of control - so I share it FWIW.)

I find more realism in you, Hale Bopp, than in many of the other posters in the L & D thread.

At least you don’t come up with these cockamamie theories....

I think they’d rather complain, drive people away, and come up with absurd theories than do the alternative - put forth some effort and work on themselves.

Everyone has a bad day or a bad stretch of time, but it really isn’t any fun to be around people who are negative all the time.

Yes, I have enough negativity of my own. Don’t need others to “help” me in that regard.

And starting a thread complaining about negative people does what exactly?

Bearthur, I will try and stay more positive and even if I have a situation or a person who I get upset with.

Sorry to hear that BeaArthur . Since a lot of people here deal with depression and a lot of other problems, it's to be expected and can't be avoided that some vent negatively. I 100% agree with you though that you shouldn't have to constantly deal with it in addition to any problems you might have yourself. It's great that you are kind enough to help people in general, and I'm sure they appreciate it, but don't push yourself. A lot of the time the people who are venting are only looking for others to reinforce their negative arguments or to be argumentative, I think, and aren't really receptive to positive encouragement (but it's always worth it to try)!

I think posts like this are a good wake up call for us to realise that our negativity is upsetting people.

Thanks for posting it, it encourages self reflection of members.