Sociopaths and narcissists

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Several years ago I was friends with this girl and eventually she started to bully, gas-light me and act competitive towards me. I started to avoid her after a while, but when I tried talking to other people she would create a distance between me and the other person and sometimes turn them against me. Then other times she would act friendly towards me to gas-light me.

I try to be extra careful now with who I open up to now and when I spot people like that I usually ignore them as much as I can. Just from observing them though a lot of them are very aggressive and persistent and when they see that someone is happy they will try to find a way to take away whatever it is. Most of them are also very likable and know how to manipulate people so that what they do doesn't look as bad.

Has anyone else ever been in a situation like this? How did you deal with it?

I have had the misfortune of encountering two people in two different workplaces who were genuine sociopaths. I don't have any advice on how to deal with them unfortunately, other than to avoid them as much as possible since I don't believe they can be reformed. But I did gain a lot of understanding of the situation from this website:

http://bullyonline.org/index.php/bullyi ... rial-bully

Thanks!

I think these people are drawn to ASD people. I've had a lot of so called friends turn out this way. I have in the past tended to take people at face value, which made it easy to manipulate me. I was and am still to some extent naive and gullible. I have a hard time reading people to know if they are fake or genuine. I'm going to be very guarded and careful about who I allow in my circle of friends. I'd rather have no friends or just 1 friend, than an abusive jerk in my life. I've had enough of those.

The difference now is, I get ride of these fake friends much faster, and get much less hurt by them than I used to.

People who are nice to me only when they want something (which is most of the time) are fun to play with -- like the time a co-worker volunteered to work with me on a special project. She soon started telling me how clever I was, how smart I was, and how great a leader I was ...

I had overheard her on several occasions telling her friends that she thought I was a creep and a weirdo.

So I began feeding her unworkable ideas; some of which were based on fictional technology from Star Trek and other Sci-Fi franchises. Sure enough, she went straight to her favorite vice-president and bragged to him about how her "penta-phased transtator" would improve our "flux-coupled capacitance analyzer" product line.

The VP had been one of my instructors at Uni. He caught on right away, and 'officially' pulled me from the 'Transtator' project. Then he put her in charge of it and told her he expected daily progress reports.

Meanwhile, I'm puttering right along on my real assignments, which had suddenly become too important and too time-consuming for me to divert any attention to whatever it was that my co-worker was up to.

She was fired by the end of that same week.

Yeah ... I was a bad, bad boy ...

In work situations, I don't say anything. Let the sh!t float around enough and the right people will smell the stink.....

yes. there was this girl i used to live with who is probably the most shameless person i've ever met.

she did all that you say + she would snap out of the blue and suddenly throw insults and make me (and others - i was not her only victim) feel bad for her with her "poor me" life story. also used her race a lot to make people feel sorry for her and then manipulate them. it's as if she lives life seeing what she can get from people. she has no hobbies, no clear goals and lives in the moment in a way that initially you may find charming but over time you realise it's really parasitic. it is a way to live off other people's back. she's smart, beautiful and has many friends. guys go crazy for her. she's also charming and can be funny at first. i don't see what her problem is. it's just cruelty for the sake of it.


my advice? stay away. build up your defences and block her on social media if she bothers you. after 3 yrs i met her randomly at my uni and we hang out. i knew her character so was wary. she still managed to make me pay for her drinks and never paid me back. after that i've been ignoring her messages or politely declining her invitations until she got bored. i didn't want her to have a grudge against me so making things gradually colder seemed like the smart option. she hasn't bothered me since.