Always Be Careful To Not Overestimate Interest Level

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I like reading articles online about autistic social skills learning.

This stood out to me. Don't overestimate an acquaintance's level of interest in bringing the relationship to a higher level. As two people are doing that delicate dance of getting to know each other, one of the parties can and often does have a change of mind. NTs know this instinctively and pick up on the hints. We however can be slow. Also we may mistake friendliness as a desire on the other's part for a friendship.

I think that autistic people like myself are prone to this because people are rarely ever friendly to us and we never get beyond the acquaintance stage with anyone. When someone is friendly, it comes as a shock to us. It is especially shocking for those of us who are isolated most of the time and rarely get to have adult conversation outside of our family members.

I've made that mistake many times and it was a pretty awkward and disappointing experience. I would often feel so alone, I would jump after the smallest expression of friendliness. From my experience, its best to wait for a clear and unmistakable expression of desire to take your relationship any further from the other side, remaining calm and friendly yourself. And don't hope too much without a clear evidence, it will only hurt you later.

I try to let an NT take the reins on how fast a friendship progresses and if I invite someone out to a social engagement and they decline or ask for rain check, I'm trying to not take it personally. Everything is about practice, interest level is definitely one of those things.

I wonder if that's why so many of my 'friendships' were completely one-sided and/or fizzled out

Do you have any article recommendations by the way?

Not sure what the solution is other than don't appear too needy.

That's so sad Elaine, is this happening again with you? I went to the paint party last week with that person. Was friendly and great time. Things felt a little weird back at work Monday...I'm almost thinking she wanted to see what I was really like....who knows....and I know too when NTs do things together on weekends, they are talking about it a lot afterwards. Apparently that wasn't the case with her and I.

I tend to not interact anymore than I have to. I suck at making conversation most of the time. I do better when the other person leads the conversation. I am more chatty when I am going through a hypomanic phase and I barely speak when I go through a depressive phase. I am pretty certain that I have cyclothymia. I feel pretty much screwed socially. I seem to always be the one with no plans with anyone. I pretty much spent all my time outside of work at home doing chores and petting my cats.

Historygal, your work peeps suck. I don't know how you put up with them everyday. People at my work are irritating too.

As soon as anyone is remotely friendly I get super happy and light headed.

It's only the paycheck and the wonderful kids. The rest suck.

When in doubt, assume noöne gives a crap about anything related to you. When not in doubt, start doubting already.

Very tiring

I had heard that when you meet people who are "Friendly" I have heard it's best to keep things at a simple level and not give off a list of your personal matters. Rather, just stay positive with them and keep interacting while taking slowly.