How to make friends when...

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How to make friends when the only people that want to hang out with me are interested in more than friendship?

At work I see it all the time, people who have only just moved here make friends and get really popular and social within no time at all! (though I never see how they manage to do it)
I've lived here for a couple of years now and the only people that have shown interest in me do so because they like me and they want to be more than friends.. No one ever seems to be interested in just hanging out with me or becoming friends and honestly I have no clue as to how to meet them or initiate friendship and my experiences have put me off trying a bit because every time I thought I managed to get a social contact it turns out they want more than just that which makes me uncomfortable as I do not return those feelings towards them.

It's getting pretty lonely..

I don't have any hobbies and I don't play sports so the only people I get in contact with really are customers from work and with them my experiences are as described above..

I just miss having more people to talk to and hang out/ go out with in my free time.. I miss being part of a group too..

Anyone any ideas as to how to go about making friends? Or any advice that you feel would apply to my situation or that could help me would be appreciated.

It sounds like you're quite attractive. It can be hard as an attractive woman to make friends (with both guys and girls). You could try taking up a hobby or doing some volunteer work. No kidding, I've met celebrities that way. You need to be around exceptional people who will treat you decently and not as a piece of meat. Don't give up; good people are out there.

Thanks for the reply Alita.
I used to do volunteer work but when I got my job I had to stop because it would just be too much for me to do it both.
As to a hobby, I would like to but I have zero ideas as to what I would like to do... Last thing I did (though I'm not sure that counts as a hobby) was taking courses with one of my dogs but even then I often had to call in sick because it was too much for me some days. But then you miss so many classes that it just becomes a waste of money...
But thanks for the advise!

Why are you opposed to a "more than friendship" relationship? At certain ages, people tend to be coupled more than single, and it may be that being in a couple would give you more social outlets, too.

I am definitely not opposed to it but for that there must be attraction on both sides and that is rarely the case with me.
And if I do not feel attracted to someone but I do know they like (or sometimes even love) me that just makes me very uncomfortable. I do not let people get close to me easily and when people have those kind of feelings for me and it is not mutual then that just comes way too close I suppose. (Even when it is mutual it's still difficult) That's why i'm looking for something platonic when it comes to friendship, so I can feel at ease with them.

You are right that it may give more social outlets too, this was the case with my ex, I met more people and did a bit more social stuff and I do miss that.
Hopefully the right person will come along for that again, but in the meantime it would be nice to make some friends.

I've been lucky and managed to make friends online some of them are male and I met them on dating apps but was very clear that I was only there for platonic friendship (as I couldn't find any apps for friendship) and we meet and hang out and all is good, they're lonley like me so they're okay with friendship like it's better than nothing. And I recommend online because I know I could never manage to make friends with someone face to face and whenever a guy tries to get to know me in real life it's the same as for you he is after more than friendship and if i'm not he gets offended and moves on. I say guy friends because it seems much harder to get in touch with other women online at least for me because they usually just get annoyed because they only wanna talk to men But if you're lucky you manage to make genuine guy friends who have other female friends and you become a group. That can also happen if you start dating someone of course... But you shouldn't date someone just to use him to get a better social life LOL.

And I would recommend hobbies I have a hard time finding hobbies I like too but maybe just pick something and decide to try it and maybe with time you'll get super into it that's what i've planned to do.

The ethical way would be to just speak to people or join social groups and see where it goes. If it evolves into something else, just decline them or say you want a friendship instead. Alternatively, you could find people already in relationships but there's no way of ever really knowing for sure (most guys I know are already taken, I don't think it's rare for men to already have found somebody in the modern day). You could also speak to homosexual men or heterosexual women.

The unethical way would be to claim that you're already taken and thus outright fabricate an excuse. It wouldn't be my way of doing things and it likely wouldn't end well but this is probably a last resort desperation.

It's ultimately down to finding people who are solely interested in friends and nothing more (places like OKcupid have options to just find friends, but it may be fairly sketchy). Those kinds of people are often usually in relationships, don't care for them, or aren't attracted to you as a person in that way but still see you as a reliable confidant. There's no way of explicitly assuring this 100%, but not literally everybody will be attracted to you romantically or sexually.