Automatic social shutdown

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I like people. I genuinely have a very deep respect for humankind. I think humans can be very good, despite the amount of bad people in the world. I'm not a nihilist or misanthropist in any way. I want to be close to people, kind and generous.
But, with some people, there's just a mental block preventing me from opening up, in any way. I refuse to speak to them beyond what's absolutely necessary. I don't make eye contact with them. I feel upset by every small sound or movement they make. I experience the worst sensory overload imaginable and I try to internalize it, yet I can't help but be bratty, snippy, and bitter. I go completely silent until someone demands an answer for a question. I'm very self-conscious about it. I don't like these people, but I can never control the upset feeling I get inside of me when around them and it makes me want to cry even hearing them speak.
I end up hurting these people because something inside of me causes me to instinctively try to end the interactions as soon as possible and get away with minimal communication.
To be fair, most people I have this 'issue' with are family members or people from my past who have hurt me relentlessly over the years. I genuinely feel a major disconnect from basically my parents, my siblings, my step-parents. It peaks in places I can't immediately escape, like restaurants or cars with them.
I find myself alone and reflecting on moments in which I was too blunt, distant, short, etc. with people I don't actually want to hurt. Even in the moment, I feel terrible, but it hits me even more hard afterwards. I recognize that they've been horrible to me, but I wish my mind didn't somehow immediately go into autism overdrive whenever I'm around them, because I don't actually want to hurt them, despite the fact that they hurt me.

Do any of you experience this immediate shutdown feeling? Only triggered by certain people, who have done certain things to you. I imagine it has to do with social anxiety regarding having to 'perform' for people you know, deep down, have hurt you in the past, so the autistic brain kind of gets too wired up and nervous. But I'd like to hear anyone's perspective on this.

Same here, I'm guessing a good number here can relate. It's cool to see another Serial Experiments fan here btw.

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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Omg, this is me as well. Anyone I spend too much time with will inevitably end up on my s**t list for some reason. I don't exactly hate them, but it takes a lot for me to like someone endlessly because I need my space big-time.

It's like you say, everything they do pisses me off, from the way they talk to the way they eat to the sounds they make while they sleep. Excruciating. And it usually goes back to an abusive past. The little annoyances are really just the tips of a larger iceberg that's buried deep inside our subconscious minds.

I wish my perspective could help you. The only solution for me was to live alone. I know that's not what most people go for, though, and it does get very lonely.

I'm sure you just need to find one special person who will be a sort of balm for your senses and act as your sanctuary from all these other annoying people out there. I do believe you will find them, if you haven't already. Not everyone will be mean to you, and I hope you know they love you even if you do feel disconnected from them.