Aspie friend seems to know little about me

Post Reply New Topic

My friend hardly ever asks questions about my life, my day. He seems not to remember stuff about me, like where I went to school, etc. I wonder if he even likes me or uses me because he knows I think so well of him and compliment him. Any thoughts on how I can know without blurting out, are you using me?

Are you neurotypical?

I can only speak for myself, but if I want to share info about myself or my experiences, I do. If I don't, I don't. I assume others are the same. I'm put off and uncomfortable with the idea that I should think up questions to ask someone about themselves and if I don't, they should be offended and I should be labeled insensitive.

I'm not saying my thought process is better than anyone else's. I know very little, for example about either of my parent's childhoods, adolescent or young adult years. Most would regard it as shockingly little. I didn't think to ask them. Conversely, they didn't tell me much about themselves either. Whose fault?

I would recommend you ask your friend if there is anything on any topic that he's wondered about as far as you're concerned. Tell him you'd like it if he asks you about you. Turn it into a game perhaps where you ask alternating questions about each other.

I know for certain when my kids are a bit older I will ask them if there is anything they want to know about me or my life. I feel like it's shame on me if I don't say that and instead resent them for seeming to be disinterested when maybe they just don't know how to ask.

That would sum me up very well too; I always wait for people to volunteer information; I feel like I might be prying otherwise because I find people's personal boundaries very hard to judge. I am always very cautious, even if it's something I wouldn't mind them asking me. Also, my memory is very good for systems, categories, practical skills, etc., but not for events or personal details. My memories tell me that stuff happened, but don't feel much like something that I experienced. It's not just other people's life stories that I have difficulty remembering; I can often struggle to remember my own. I lack interest in details from people's history that don't affect how I feel about that person right now, and I think it's possibly because I'm not used to looking at my own life in that way. I don't mind telling a friend what school I went to at all; but I can't for the life of me imagine why they would want to know.

[quote="Magna"]Are you neurotypical?

I can only speak for myself, but if I want to share info about myself or my experiences, I do. If I don't, I don't. I assume others are the same.

I would recommend you ask your friend if there is anything on any topic that he's wondered about as far as you're concerned. Tell him you'd like it if he asks you about you. Turn it into a game perhaps where you ask alternating questions about each other.

This helps immensely. Thank you! Yes, I am neurotypical.

You're welcome.

You and I are very similar in this regard. Thanks for explaining yourself so well.