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Marknis
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01 Sep 2018, 7:28 pm

My older brother has his own brewery business in my area and it's been gaining notice. It's also furthering outshining me and pushing me further to the wayside. Someone in the meet up group I sometimes attend wants to do a game night at his business. I don't have anything special to say about myself while my older brother always will. I am thinking of telling this person to not start a meet up at the business.



BeaArthur
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01 Sep 2018, 8:17 pm

Stop comparing yourself to your brother. He's a completely different person.

A better comparison is to yourself. How are you different today than six months ago? Have you met any of the goals you had six months ago? If there is not much change, then, how do you want to be different/better six months from today?


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Marknis
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01 Sep 2018, 11:03 pm

I honestly don't have nor make any goals. Whenever the year begins, I am mourning the loss of the previous year and how nothing I hoped for came true.
It's a vicious cycle that's been deeply ingrained into my mind.

I wish I could finally say I have hope in finding a girlfriend as well as my other dreams coming true. :(



BeaArthur
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02 Sep 2018, 8:02 am

Well, let me suggest a goal for 6 months from now. Substantial lessening of depression symptoms. That's actually do-able.

And here's a homework assignment for you. Take a notebook and for each day, write down something you have to be grateful for (even if you don't feel gratitude). An example: I have a roof over my head. It was a sunny day. Lunch was pretty decent. My feet don't hurt.

I offer this to you in a spirit of kindness, so please receive it that way, even if it sounds hokey.


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Marknis
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02 Sep 2018, 9:20 pm

I suppose it's a blessing in disguise I don't have my siblings' family problems.



BeaArthur
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03 Sep 2018, 10:34 am

laughs ... there you go!

What kinds of family problems does your brother have?


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Marknis
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03 Sep 2018, 10:49 am

BeaArthur wrote:
laughs ... there you go!

What kinds of family problems does your brother have?


Four screaming and needy kids, a marriage that is turbulent (His wife suffered a stroke this weekend), and a home that smells horrible as well as gets damaged on a daily basis.

My younger brother is in a happy marriage (As far as I can see) but his son takes up a lot of his time.



BeaArthur
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03 Sep 2018, 7:46 pm

People that opt for kids are opting for chaos. It comes with the territory.

Assuming you marry a nice lady, would you want children some day?


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Marknis
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04 Sep 2018, 1:18 am

Both of them also learned the hard way about not "wrapping up" and always expecting the women to use birth control.

I would be open to it if we were in a good life situation and my other dreams were fulfilled or atleast taking form.



ilovehumanitybuthatepeople
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04 Sep 2018, 6:10 am

I don’t have siblings.

I would define success as being happy, healthy, and able to provide for myself. Not compare myself to others. I’m sure you have many gifts.



Summer_Twilight
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05 Sep 2018, 9:39 am

Marknis wrote:
My older brother has his own brewery business in my area and it's been gaining notice. It's also furthering outshining me and pushing me further to the wayside. Someone in the meet up group I sometimes attend wants to do a game night at his business. I don't have anything special to say about myself while my older brother always will. I am thinking of telling this person to not start a meet up at the business.


BeaArther was talking about positive affirmations which are good for building confidence and believing in yourself.

One of my favorites that I meditate on whenever I feel invisible is "I'm good, I'm kind, I'm Smart, I'm Important."

You could also check out the positive affirmations video on youtube which you can play on a daily basis.



Fnord
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05 Sep 2018, 9:44 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
BeaArther was talking about positive affirmations which are good for building confidence and believing in yourself. One of my favorites that I meditate on whenever I feel invisible is "I'm good, I'm kind, I'm Smart, I'm Important." You could also check out the positive affirmations video on youtube which you can play on a daily basis.
One of my favorites is "Past events don't matter unless you want them to."



Summer_Twilight
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05 Sep 2018, 10:27 am

Fnord wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
BeaArther was talking about positive affirmations which are good for building confidence and believing in yourself. One of my favorites that I meditate on whenever I feel invisible is "I'm good, I'm kind, I'm Smart, I'm Important." You could also check out the positive affirmations video on youtube which you can play on a daily basis.
One of my favorites is "Past events don't matter unless you want them to."



I love it. I also use "I am not going to let these people steal my joy."