Seeking advice as an Aspergian stuck in life.

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Hey there, all!

Well, to jump on into it, I guess. Life has been difficult to say the least. After getting out of a pretty traumatizing living situation, I've found that I lost literally all my social skills. (Or at least it feels like it.) I used be extremely into musical theater, surround myself with friends, enjoy everyday shenanigans, but now.. now I'm a very depressed man with a defeatism complex. From that, I lost a multitude of friends due to a lack of communication and motivation. It makes it even harder due to not really knowing what to say after so long. What do I do?

Ease back in, gradually. You can interact with people here to get the ball rolling.

I would like to hear more detail about what went wrong for you.

1. You could check out the Asperger Experts because they have lots of great ideas
2. Consult a professional because it sounds like you have PTSD
3. Use guided meditations
4. Find an activity related to music that you can handle
5. Go to Improve your social skills.com which is run by a psychologist who also have ASD/Asperger's.
6.Look up positive affirmations and especially ones for depression and you not only listen to them but tell yourself over and over again.

"I am strong,"
"I am worthy"
"I am worthy of love and acceptance"
"I am talented."
"I love and approve of myself."

7. Get involved with a meet up group that is music oriented
8. If you can play a musical instrument, get back into it

Remember, you are not stuck, it sounds like you are in recovery mode

The fact that you don't "surround yourself with friends" or "enjoy everyday shenanigans" marks you out as the better sort of person. I don't see why you should regret not being subject to such rubbish.

I don't understand why everyone wants friends or romantic partners.To me,often times friendships and romantic relationships are a waste of time,particularly if someone's brain is not programmed to be social.Also why would you "enjoy everyday shenanigans"? If anything,you are becoming a better person by not "enjoying everything shenanigans". Like several other Aspies,you need to learn who to accept yourself as a Aspie and ignore what other tribes(group of people) are doing. Also, stop trying to do what everyone else(people that isn't on the AS/ASD spectrum) is doing becasue you are not them.

Take an art class
Take an online class
Play live online games where you interact with people through a headset (xbox).

right now, i am in a simmilar situation. cptsd, confirmed. i've gotten out of the worst of it, but i have a long way to go. so, here is what i had done after i was intercepted from a windowsil. took several months
0. isolate myself from any hostile or potentially hostile contacts
1. write down my flashbacks and let some trusted people read them (repetitive)
2. write down more trauma-related things. get deeper. hear out people, who read it all. (repetitive)
3. find what actually had been driving me into suicide. it was - thought my child is better off without me.
4. this is where a specific person came in. reading everything, and then logically destroying my key motive.
5. get down the well. find autism-related trauma i had forgotten about. the greatest fear, my very identity, a ghost. i never had allowed myself to just be like an aspergerian i am, wearing a mask, even at home. thus, rejecting myself. write it down. let my peers destroy it. i might have been rejected, but i am not a reject.
6. dare to come here. dare to get a first stimtoy in my life. dare to accept myself and allow myself to act AS.
7. enlist in a volunteer gamedev project. not my first. but thats something safe, something that wont hit too hard if it doesnt fire. i had been out of things for years. my skills (not social, other skills), are dated and rusty. so i am trying to pick it up casually. i am still too terrorized to try to get a job.

that all being sayed, i could not reduce IRL society exposure to close-to-zero. i have a kid, i have things i must do. and that means, daily exposure to outside world. i have a long way to go, to get a proper social level as an adult should own. but at least my mind is not trying to send me down the window those nights. i hope some of it helps someone. i intend to write more detailed report at some point, when i can handle it.