Can't make or keep friends well

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I keep losing friends and I'm not making any new ones. It seems the only way to get people to like me is to suppress my interests and true personality, and I don't ever want to do that. I'm too tired to maintain friendships. It takes too much energy. And yet I still want friends. I feel so disconnected from most people. My words are often misinterpreted and offense is taken when none was intended. I feel like a failure socially. Maybe I should just give up and not try to make friends. But I still want friends. It's a dilemma. I try to be a nice person, but eventually everyone gets put off by me and I don't know why.

What are you interested in?

I bet you can make friends right here on WrongPlanet.

Because we are the ones with the weird interests LOL

It's always been the same way for me. I am too tired and ignore peoples texts for long periods of time, I get annoyed when people want to talk and even more annoyed if they want to hang out. I have friends now for the first time in my life and they're all aspies, and male because for some reason women never like me when I try to make friends with them also female friendships seem more demanding for some reason, men are more laid back and chill which suits me better.

I really suggest trying to find friends on the spectrum or people who are similar to yourself even if they're undiagnosed! They will understand it when you don't have the energy to talk or hang out and won't get offended when you wanna be alone and therefore you won't feel pressured or misunderstood and will enjoy the friendship more.

I've always surpressed my true interests and stuff as well and tried to be NT but as I started making friends with people I get along with who are openly nerdy and "weird" without caring that has had influence on me and I feel I can be myself more and that there are people out there who accepts that.

Don't try to be someone you're not! That way you might also get friends if you really try but you will get friends you can't relate to and who won't understand or accept who you really are and the friendship will feel difficult and not work out because of that! I wish you luck, I think you can make friends if you really decide to do it and just be yourself. If you feel different just remember a lot of people do and you're not alone!

i had a lot of rejection issues, and in the end, i'd developed a social mask, spikey, sharp-tongued and overall agressive. masking my meltdowns under agression streaks. hiding vebrosity under snarky comebacks. that would work quite fine, people, who would like that thing, (and there are such people), mostly turn out to like the real me when i come out. they had the patience and sense of humour to deal with me, and they still do. of cause, some people would be rebuked. a lot of people. but its much easier to live through, when u actually intend and make it happen.

point is, being annoyed by somebody bears easier to most NTs, than being weirded out. a snarky comeback is easier to get over, than "i am hurt, i feel badly sad, i need to be silent for some long time now". maybe its not nice. maybe it could be done better. but i got more friends that way, than being a shy and ultimately polite in-the-corner-with-a-book. and they also know when to let me be in that corner, with that book)

point is, not any person can bond with any other person. NT or not. most will and will filter away, whatever u do. and of cause, doing what i do, might not be anybody else's good idea. annoying your peers has its price, yes. and doing it, one needs to careful. overdoze it, and u get hate letters. underdoze it and people will bug u, wanting MOAR contact than u can handle.

and ya, haters gonna hate. but if u are shy and polite, they will hate u for they dont-know-what, and u gather they hate u for being autistic. that hurts like.. i dont need to tell here. everybody knows. but if they hate u for being annoying and spikey, and u, internally, know its not u, and ur friends u got give u kudos, its all easier, rolling off ur skin.

plus, the nasty display discourages bullies to mess with u)))) they will think twice before stealing ur stuff, messing with ur textbooks, or yapping at u, if they know there is a comeback, or a chair (stick, brick) coming their way if they try. that nerd is dangerous. lets go do something else, i dont want a bruise over having fun.

and ya i perfectly understand, that some people would say HEY, u are getting it all wrong! cant fight people! cant be nasty! u are giving us all a bad name here! i will reply - guys, some people are asking for trouble, and they will ask again, if u dont give them some. the question is, to know when to snark, and when to not. and yes, i had problems with that line. judging the moment, for when agressive responce is warranted, is an art, art i might be failing at sometimes. thats what apologising is for.

so ya, apologies. a thing u gotta know-how, if u accidently meltdown on somebody in a snarky way, or simply overreact, which happens too. hey, X, we had an issue, i am sorry. i overreacted. i understand u didnt mean to hurt me, my emotions got the better of me, and i am sorry. and then they say something like, okay, got it. sometimes, they add - i am sorry too, i should have been more careful with u, knowing u are not exactly the most level-headed person in the line.

Start off by making online friends. It takes less energy.