Everybody but me on Facebook

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Hi:
I recently noticed something on Facebook where a few of my colleagues refused to add me on Facebook while they seem to have no problem adding everyone else.

1. One of them recently accepted my friendship request only to unfriend me again not long after that
2. The other one blocked me so I can't add her while seeming to have no problem adding others

I’m on Fakebook. I have a grand total of 63 “friends”. I was never that into Fakebook, but became less so after the election. I mostly use Fakebook to post information I want to remember later & to see pictures of my nieces & nephews.

I’m sorry other humans on Fakebook are contributing to your emotional pain.

I am not on Fakebook, because after growing up in the pre-computer age I realized just how bad of a nuclear weapon it can be against Aspies. It supercharges harassment and bullying and its impact on insecure kids can be seen in news coverage about teen suicide and bullying. For those of us accustomed to being "on the outside" of social things, it is not a good mental health strategy to be on there. I was an early internet adopter, and started working on computers first in the mid-1970's, so my absence from social media is hardly because I'm a technical Luddite.

Instead what I've done is to participate more in forums like this one. It's generally been a positive thing. Forums usually are focused on topics or interests, which is perfect for us. Unfortunately, more and more of these forums are dying and often becoming Fakebook Groups. Privacy then becomes a serious issue.

And what an apt name "Fakebook" is. A fakebook traditionally is a book of notes and shortcuts that professional musicians keep, to be able to organize music that they may have to play, without sheet music. Zuckerberg's Fakebook is a place where people "photoshop their lives." Since by definition Aspies can't read social cues nor understand social "marketing," attempting to compete in that marketplace usually is a prescription for total disaster.

I rarely bother with fb. I only keep it to see talk to my friend that lives overseas. Other than that, I have no use for it. Why do you want to add coworkers anyway? Those are the last people I'd want knowing my personal info.

Normies have mocked me for not using Fakebook. Don't be a conformist, be yourself.

I do like the term "Fakebook" because you are right. It's not real and it came to cause us Aspies/autistics to get super upset. I am feeling better now but I was upset because the colleague because I felt that she had everyone else on there. When I went back to look, she only has 8 people who I am "Friends" with on there while they removed the opportunity for me to add her.

I am more upset at the other colleague but that isn't a big deal either but I don't appreciate them agreeing to add me on Fakebook before unfriending me on there. I feel that was rude when they have no problem having everyone else on there. Believe me, I have my reasons for being upset about it.

Anyway, other things that I have seen people do on there is unfriend me, I add them, and they agree. Then the next thing I know, I am blocked from their feed period.

Never been on Fakebook, never been on MySpace, never been on any of that, only set up a LinkedIn profile because someone invited me, and I let it die of neglect ASAP.

People already have more than enough ways to snub and exclude and snoop on and compete unhealthily with one another - I'm not into feeding that. Games that only losers can win are not games I care to play. And really, anyone who tries to define your worth by your number of likes, or retweets, or Fakebook Fiends, or whatever? Feh.

(Not that I have strong opinions or anything. But honestly, this stuff is really not worth the time.)

You are right, people on Facebook can be so mean too and it's funny because this woman who is not a colleague of mine got offended because I posted something that she "Didn't approve of" because it had a graphic image of something horrible that happened to an autistic. Yet she was more concerned about me "Hurting her" with images like that.

However, that's to be expected from her is that she belongs to a group of people from a religious organization who are very cliquish and seem to put on heirs around outsiders. I call their group the "Elite Fleet" or rather if I am dealing with people from this group I call them "Elite members." My ex-friend, her husband, my former casual friend are also Elite Members. For the longest time I thought this woman was super sweet but after seeing her attitude online last night I realize, "Yeah, she's an Elite Member for sure."

This group of people live in their own little world and seem to be very picky about their reputations and what you post on social media. If you post pictures of them holding a beer and tag them, they act funny about that.

I have no desire to be on FB, Twitter, etc.

"Big Brother" relates to government. FB is simply corporate Big Brother; always watching. Yuck.

I’m on FB, but I specify what I see coming in. If it’s political, it immediately goes to what used to be referred on Usenet to /dev/null. I normally limit my feed to Shetland sheepdogs, rough and smooth collies, basset hounds, bloodhounds, my high school graduating class, my collegiate Alma maters (undergraduate and graduate), and my church (now that I’m no longer driving). If any one posts anything on my newsfeed that I feel is objectionable, I block the originating source. If the so-called friend is the source, the immediately get un-friended and blocked.

Well now I know I belong here. Yep! I was struggling because I wanted to start a personal training business, and realized a needed Facebook.

I hate people knowing my personal business. I don’t even understand the point. I see it as a little black book for adding contacts.

I know I’m not important enough that any government agency would give a s**t what I’m doing, but all that info is being stored. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but I use it for my support community.

I left Facebook last week, and I don't miss it.

I'm Zuckerburg's age, so I was in college when it started becoming popular, and was on since 2006 -- but looking back now, I have to ask myself, did it do much good? Other than connecting with some family members, I say it was mostly bad.

Be especially careful with adding co-workers, or family members of your spouse's co-workers, and the like. That can get super awkward, and you may find out that you share much less in common with them than you would have liked. Part of the reason I got rid of my account was that one of the wives of one of my husband's bosses was on there, and she thought we were adorable, and so she added me as a friend -- only for us to find out that we have very little in common, religion or politics wise, or philosophy-wise, or interest-wise...I started getting the impression that I really pissed her off, and so it was best to get away from that and avoid potentially jeopardizing my husband's job in any way.

Remember that people on FB (and social media in general) have the tendency to overshare. There is something about writing on the Internet, even when our names are publicly visible, that causes us to spill more sometimes than we often should. At least here on an old-fashioned Internet forum, we can choose a nondescript username and stay relatively anonymous if we so choose. But on FB and related media, you can learn way too much about people -- from their kinky sex addictions, to their kids' worst habits, to their politics, and everything else in between. And you may find out that the people you thought would make good friends, really aren't good for you, or vice versa.

So yeah, don't worry about not being on FB.

Summer, please don't take it to heart when people act like this. It is Fakebook after all, if someone doesn't appreciate you for who you are, you don't need them. Just be thankful it weeded out fake people from your life.