I hate being Autistic and wish I could just communicate

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I was diagnosed very late in life. I was very lucky in that my small group of friends in high school excepted me for who I am and understood my social needs. Told me when I was being rude or when someone needed something emotionally. They were my check that I needed to function normally.

Now I am an adult and it seems every time I turn around I'm doing something wrong socially. Making people mad or sad, and I have no idea what to do. Every possible relationship that I have with people seems to always go wrong and the problem is that I have no idea what I have done to even attempt to correct the issue.

Even though I'm moderately intelligent, I would give it all up for just a single chance to just know what someone was feeling just by looking at them. I would give it all up to know what it meant to be socially accepted at my job, with my life partner, etc.

I'm sorry for the rant but it's just very lonely out here and I was hoping that maybe someone here could understand. Maybe give a few pointers of how to handle just the pervasive loneliness.

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way.

But that's OK. I understand how you feel too.

I have to mention though that I haven't been officially diagnosed yet and it's been a tad difficult since my parents refuse to believe that I have AS and send me to get diagnosed. But I always do my best to not let it bother me.

I was alone in secondary school for the entire time. At first, I thought I had great friends. But then it turned out that everyone single one of them actually hated me, for being so weird. So different. In fact, no one even told me and I discovered the truth the hard way. Yup, you really are lucky. I wish I had friends who could accept me in secondary school. But oh well!

I have no idea what it's like to be an adult (I'm still 17) but I do know how it's like to feel like "It's always my fault." I often do and act in ways that make people scared, weirded out, dissapointed and angry, without me actually being aware. And when I do try to find out why or how, I get shut out. And it sucks. But please don't be so hard on yourself. Don't worry so much about being able to communicate well. Sometimes, it's the people around you who need to stop and reflect because they're the ones who aren't communicating good enough. Just do your best and if things don't work out well, learn how to forget and move on. I mean, that's how I deal with it and hopefully it works for you too C:

Please don't give it all up! I know how frustrating it can be to not figure out how someone feels just by looking. Because sometimes it really is. Trust me, I've been pretty depressed and no one suspects a thing because I'm able to perfectly hide it behind my smile. (But being depressed is unhealthy and I'm certainly doing my best to keep my spirits high. Hope you can find the strength to do so too!) And I know you are dying to find out the answers and what future lies ahead of you. I mean, I myself am already worrying about what I'm going to do when I grow up, where I'm going to live, who am I going to end up together with, will I really find happiness etc. But it all takes time. Be patient not only with this but also, be patient with yourself. When you do, you'll find that you've gotten a huge load off of your back C:

Don't worry about ranting! I'm glad you are able to find a way to express yourself and let others how you feel. It's so much better than bottling up suppressed emotions (I've done that too many times and it has caused me quite a handful of mental breakdowns). I feel pretty lonely too but you know what? I never loneliness take the better of me especially since I'm always by myself.

Go out there and do the things you like! Whether it be watching a movie, treating yourself to an ice-cream or just relaxing at home, it's important to do things that help you put your mind at ease. What I like to do to help me when I'm stressed is to listen to music or play my clarinet/saxophone since I'm into music. Or if you're into art you could get yourself a sketchbook and just draw, anything you wish. You could even talk to someone you trust, maybe a friend, a family member or even professional help (it's really not bad. I know "normal" people think of seeking professional help in a bad light but at the end of the day, you're doing yourself good by going out there and getting the help you need!)

Hey, you could even start talking to us here more! I mean, I'm so young, only a teenager, don't even have a job yet and all but I'd be glad to know if I can help you in any other way I can C:

Don't feel bad about being autistic! We are born this way for one simple reason; because we are special and we have the potential to bring out the best in the world (:

I hope this finds you well! If you ever feel lonely just remember that things will turn out right in the end. It just takes time and if you find that it's taking too long, I really hope you can find the courage and strength within yourself to turn your frown upside down into a smile! ~

You are only 26 years old which means that you are still growing. Also, just because others don't accept you doesn't mean that something is wrong with you but rather with them. When I was your age I still had lots issues with self-awareness and struggles dominating the conversation which turned a lot of people off. However, most of these people were low quality and especially if they can't accept you.

Either way, you need to know that you are not a mistake and there is a video by another woman with Asperger's on Youtube named Jennifer O'Toole. She has a set of videos called "Speaking Geek." The episode that you might check out is "Stuck in the moment."

She also has her own line called "Asperkids" and she is really nice and I think you would appreciate her.

Thank you. It's just frustrating. I'm always glad for the alone space and quiet at my college. (Which is where I am now.) I wish there was just like a meet up of nerdy Aspies near me so that I wouldn't need to explain to them over and over again how I'm not emotionally "intellegent" and they would just get it.

I don't know if there's such a thing as a Facebook page for people on the spectrum. (Maybe a good idea. I'll see what other people think.)

Join some special interest groups on campus where they have nerdy things because you will make connections that way. You could also look online for some Asperger support groups via meet.up.com. After all you live in a big city.