Social Skills Decaying at an Alarming Rate

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Does anyone else find that, just after a few days of barely talking to anyone, you cannot find words, look people in the eye, smile, etc?

I am really concerned as to how this is affecting my ability to interview for jobs after transitioning from months of academic social isolation. I am trying to finish some academic work while looking for a job and this has been a major issue. I have no clue how to maintain my social skills when I get hyper-focused on these academic tasks. I can go from super-energetic, smiley, and communicative (with lots of social interaction) to completely flat, emotionless, and awkward (with solitary work) in days.

Additionally, I got really sick, engaged my communication way less than usual during the week, and found myself barely able to speak or recall anything in the interview. It was awful.

In an ideal world, I would be practicing my social and hands-on skills all day in preparation, rather than sitting at a desk - obviously not feasible now though.

I quite often go to leave the house and stop just as I'm opening the front door to wonder how long it's been since I spoke to someone and whether I'll be able to remember how to do it.

its okay, u just need time to switch. i had been so fragging frustrated with issue like that, then i well, got better at switching and at explaining myself too. still as far from ideal, as to reach the sun crawling, but better than it was. ideals after all are set not even for average NT, but for well, socially best NT. so we cant and cannot xd gotta forgive ourselves and then make others forgive us)))

It is just like exercising. I can't do an all day work out if I've been sick or busy doing work stuff for weeks. I have to ease back into it. It is best if you can figure out how to keep in shape all the time, making time for practicing even though you would rather not.

Wow, that's fascinating. I rarely go for that long without interacting. I think my own social standard for myself is quite high, so I am really sensitive to when my communication becomes even slightly awkward. I work really hard on these skills.

Yes. Transitioning and feeling anxious when alone seem to be my main problems. I should just go out in public and practice my skills and not care what others think about me "talking to myself". Maybe bring my iPad and pretend I am filming myself. Hmm.

Exactly. Hate explaining myself, though. Feels like I am making excuses. I try to be as socially best as possible and am a perfectionist as well...

After spending a month camping and hiking through the Cleveland National Forest, I felt like I was an alien in my own country -- words seemed to not make much sense.

I do have the odd period where I see no-one for a week or two at a time and, more rarely, much longer periods where my only interactions would be with shopkeepers, bus drivers, etc. But it can only take a few days on my own for my conversation skills to just go dormant; or just a few hours around people for them to tire out. I can't do anything else that demands my attention while I'm having a conversation, either; I've got to stop what I'm doing and try to give it my full attention.

As BTDT said, it's about switching contexts as much as anything else. Once I've found my feet in a social situation, I can get by OK, and have the odd stretch of satisfying conversation with people. However, people beginning a conversation when my attention is elsewhere really throws me. I can sometimes just parrot a few stock phrases and get away with it, but I'm lost if it's anything that I have to give the slightest thought to. It sounds paranoid of me, but I always check who's out in the street before leaving the house if I'm feeling asocial but have to go shopping; the idea that a neighbour could do something awful, like say "Hi" and ask for my opinion on the flowers in his garden, really can fill me with dread. It's not about disliking anyone, and my neighbours are genial enough people; but I know that if I'm in a certain frame of mind, I'll simply freeze like a rabbit caught in headlights if anyone says so much as a word to me that I'm not expecting; or I'll just spout non sequiturs and trip over every other syllable. I don't even comprehend properly, never mind being able to produce anything.

Last time I was working, I got a lift to work with a colleague who is an old friend I've known for 30+ years. After a little while there, he very worriedly asked if I thought that working in the same place had ruined our friendship. I though this an odd question, so I told him honestly; no of course it hadn't. It turned out, he was basically talking to himself for an hour every day during the drive because he couldn't get a word out of me; it was too close to waking time in the morning, and I was done in from work in the evening, so my conversation circuits were in battery-saving mode for most of the time we were spending together.

Yes but not only have my social skills been decaying "at an alarming rate", but they were never that great to begin with

Anyways I do not go to school . Trying and failing to trick someone into making the mistake of hiring my worthless corpse

Failure failure failure failure

No spouse, no significant other
No children or family


The ghetto lil riffraff, that I encounter on the street regularly, might not respond favorably if I approach them.

The best case scenario is, whooptie do

The worst case scenario is, subject to imagination

Do you have time to drop into a coffee shop or something for a while? In my experience, if it's slow employees are often willing to chat for a while. There's a few unfriendly ones around here but most are nice.

The older I get , the more frivolous socializing appears

Socializing does not have to be just sitting around talking , but without sitting around talking, there is a larger limit to the potential of the socializing



Anyone could get angry at any time for any reason or no reason

Yes I feel left out

35 years old

But I got to 35 without too much socializing, so maybe socializing is not all precious lil "people" act like it is





The previous counselor told me that the reason why I think I am "worthless" is because I have no job

And "can someone without a job talk to someone with a job?"

Wtf?

Talking is just making noise

Talking for humans, is like barking, for dogs

Yes it serves a function

But "most people" talk way too much

The context thing makes sense. In light of the other thread on socializing and hyperfocus, when I am stuck with an unfinished project I am currently working on (not avoiding/procrastinating), my thoughts about it never completely stop. As a result, I think they interfere with my ability to properly receive signals from my surroundings and to respond to them, hence poorer social skills. Also, being too slow to switch from one behaviour (e.g., typing) to another (e.g., talking) might contribute. I'm trying to practice being faster at the switching thing, as it can be really impractical in the real world. I personally rarely get the need to be in "battery-saving mode", though.

I think we all have really different social needs, so I am not a fan of generalization. I am way more socially motivated than even most NTs I have met, let alone people on the spectrum, so I cannot really relate to this.

Exactly what I did - worked in co-working spaces full of people. My problem was that I was so engaged in my work that I could not get myself to properly talk about anything but, unless I was not actually really focused and productive. It seems I have the ability to switch between and engage in multiple, unrelated topics across a short period of time, but at the expense of maximized concentration. So most of the time, I just sat there and did my work instead of engaging in conversation.

A large part of socializing is sitting around talking

Talking takes a lot of energy

Cost benefit analysis

Yeah I feel left out, a lot

But I have felt this way for a long time and I am 35 so whatever

Socializing is like chocolate. You crave it, and it does serve a function. But you only benefit from the slightest amount. Anything more is overboard and overrated