I think I'm incapable of making friends

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I have been trying for years to make friends in real life, and literally nothing I tried has worked. I have done everything that can be done to make friends. I have gone to tons and tons of Meetup groups, many of which I have gone to more than once, or even multiple times. Been doing that for years, and I have not made any friends there. I tried going to school clubs at my college campus. I've been told that's a surefire way to make friends. Well, no, not for me. None of the school clubs I ever went to have brought any friendships to me, and even group clubs, I often get ignored. I've been told that taking dance classes is a foolproof way of making friends. I did that as well, no results. Art classes. No results. Online dating. No results. Speed dating. No results.

I did virtually every possible way one person can make friends. For any other person, even those who are on the autism spectrum like I am, doing all of the things I have done would have brought at least some friendships even to the most introverted people. But not me. When all that hasn't worked for me, then I really think that my ability to make friends is completely broken. I'm honestly considering giving up my goal and just living the sheltered pathetic lonely life that I've been living my entire life. No friendships, no girlfriend, none of that.

So wait, are you looking for a date or are you looking for friends??? You just listed "online dating" and "speed dating" as a thing and that sounds like relational matchmaking more so then platonic friendships ...

Same here. I've given up on all my 'friends' who contacted me or met me once or twice a year, too. I'm just calling my kids my responsibility and keep myself company.

It sounds like you are the 'loner' aspie type like me. I envy the 'actor' and other types that are supposedly out there, but I cannot be like them. And fake it till u make it doesn't work.

"fake it till you make it" is the single most toxic lie of all time.

Oh, incidentally, you're one of the ASD or Aspergers people I somewhat envy for having friends, from what you mention.

okay, dunno about types and which i belong to, but. in my experience friendship never works in a snap. its like well having some common ground, then getting more. play a game togather, talk during playing, find out some things about each other, relate. it starts building up. natural process. cant really speed it up. anybody tries to jump on me and be friends with me right NAU i execute a violent rebuke. just because things like that had hurt me in the past. and when i myself feel a fast and unbased affection for a person, i try to keep it, not let it flare. because see above. sometimes natural course goes faster, sometimes slower, but it has to be there. i had known people for years before calling them friend. and i had been friends for year with who became my husband in time. i mean, it could be different for other people, okay. i am a flaming aspergerian with more scars than i can count. i dont click with many a lot of people. also a natural thing. u cant be good for everyone, and everyone cant be good for u. and what is ur cake, only depends on u as a unique person. digital is still real, please consider this.

Most people with Autism, mental health issues and other disabilities are never accepted by society and face lonely, miserable lives. I knew at a young age that I will never be accepted by society and so far I have been right. Society does not give people with disabilities a fair chance at life. I was never able to form friendships/relationships due to my Autism and mental health issues. Society is so harsh and unfair to disabled people with Autism and other challenges in life.

I can't say I'm super sure on making friends either. Even people I've met in real life from being on sites online I might not even see them very often in person due to being in different cities not actually.

I currently live with my mother after job loss when I lived in the capital area here in Michigan. Where we are now I don't know anyone. The word autism wasn't applied to me as even a thought until about 2 years ago and last year was when I had some psychological testing done that gave me a likely diagnosis.

You're not alone in the how to make a friend boat here for sure.

Coming to terms that I am extreme introvert and prefer to be alone. Solitary activities like cycling, distance running, walking, listening to music, reading and watching TV. I prefer observation and listening instead of engaging in meaningless conversations about nothing. Social situation require too much energy and are draining for an introvert. Sit around in a corner and not engaged in conversations, get me out of there!

I relate to it feeeling like uncharted territory. I've had some success with Meet Ups and hobby groups, though. Do conversations with others not go very well or are you waiting on them to lead?

You can talk to fellow introverts too. I've worked up to a couple people I can invite out, but people seem set in their routines at my age so I have to ask myself many times.

I don't really go out of my way to make friends. Sometimes I just stumble onto them. So if you stumble onto a person who wants to be your friend, recognize the opportunity and become their friend.

Around 50 years ago, I stumbled onto one such person. I said "Hi" and then he spoke for around an hour nonstop. I didn't get one word in. So at the end of an hour, I tried and changed the subject. He picked up on this and spoke for another hour nonstop. Tried to change subjects again and he was very very good at moving onto the next topic. So at the end of 4 hours, I finally told him I need to make dinner and go to bed. He went home. I figured there was 10 years of wanting to talk to someone, anyone store up inside him and by passively listening, I just allowed him to unleash this out into the open.

Anyways he became one of my best friends and he still is today.