Strange social anxiety with strangers

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I have the strangest social anxiety when it comes to strangers. When I walk by strangers in the street I find it difficult to make eye contact so I just look down or ahead. I just feel self-conscious if I look at a passer-by because I don't want to see them looking at me.

But if a stranger talks to me, for example if they're asking for directions or are asking for the bus times or are just being friendly, I can make eye contact very easily and talk appropriately. Today I witnessed someone fall off his bike so I went and helped him up then sat with him for 5 minutes, asking where he hurt and if he'd be OK, etc. He was fine after that, then he gave me a hug to say thank you for being caring, and he went on his way. I had no problem with talking to him, or him hugging me, and I could tell how grateful he was that I cared instead of just walking by. He was shocked by the fall more than physically hurt. I could tell that by looking at his body language.

How come I enjoy or at least don't mind direct interaction from strangers and find it quite natural, but just walking by a stranger feels me with social anxiety at the thought of making eye contact? Does anyone else feel this way? Could I possibly even have social anxiety if I can talk to a stranger in certain situations? But I have all the other social anxiety symptoms, like fearing being judged, worrying too much of what others think, feeling uncomfortable in crowded places, trembling and feeling nauseous in some large social events, etc.

Because you and the stranger have something to talk about. There was a purpose to the interaction.

Your reaction to being amongst strangers is actually fairly "normal."

Yeah, what Kraftiekortie said, plus this: The British are notorious for their aloofness. I understand if they are riding the subway or a train, it is considered socially inappropriate for anyone to speak to a stranger, or even make eye contact. Maybe I overstated that, but it sounds to me you are merely a product of your culture and are behaving in a socially sanctioned manner.

There is such a thing as only having social anxiety in certain situations. Personally I have it in mostly all situations, for example I could never have approached that man who fell off his bike and sit there and talk to him, it would've made my anxiety peak very high.

There is of course also a scale when it comes to social anxiety, some people with social anxiety can't even enter a store because there's people in there and that must be truly horrible. I can be in a crowd easily as long as I don't have to talk to anyone and don't make eye contact with anyone, but I can't sit in a coffee shop by myself because i'll feel like everyone in the entire coffee shop is glancing at and judging me. I also have the same problem as you with walking past strangers on the sidewalk - on days when i'm more sensitive I even cross over to the other side of the road if people are coming in my direction, but I can easily approach and talk to a stranger if I have to ask directions for example.

I have social anxiety diagnosed.

Eye contact is very much frowned upon in the New York City subway, too......

I think social anxiety is a normal Aspie trait. But Aspies also have another trait, many are deeply compassionate. If someone is in trouble they will try and help. You saw a boy fall off a bicycle and was hurt so you went to his aid. By comforting him you prevented the stress from this incident to transform into trauma. Just calmly being there for him allowed him to normalize his stress levels and return them back to the normal range.

When I was a young man, I took a vacation, a two-week rafting trip down the Grand Canyon. One late afternoon I had climbed up onto a high plateau above the campsite in search for some branches and firewood. I heard cries for help. I rushed towards them. A man from our party had twisted his leg and broke it. I could see the broken bone protruding from his leg. In a panic I told him I would get help. He said, “ NO, someone else was getting help.” He asked me to hold his hand. So I sat down next to him and calmly held his hand. It took about 20 minutes for help to arrive. By holding his hand I was passing my calm onto him through nothing other than the power of human touch. I was an anchor in a great storm. When helped arrive, they placed an inflatable splint on his broken leg. We were a few hundred miles from civilization. The boat guides tried to use their emergency radio to call for a rescue, but their radio was broken. The guides began debating the quickest way to move the injured man downstream to a hospital. They had to move him down the plateau without causing any more injury. They would have to navigate him through the various rapids ahead. Another raft from a different party suddenly drifted by and the guides flagged them ashore. They used their radio to launch a rescue operation. After a couple hours, a helicopter flew in and landed on the plateau and took the injured man to the hospital. Weeks later he sent me a letter and thanked me for helping him.

I didn’t really understand this at the time, but the mere fact of calmly holding someone’s hand in a time of great stress and panic is sufficient to normalize the stress and prevent it from evolving into a lifelong trauma.

It's just annoying when people be like, "how come you can talk to strangers if you have social anxiety?"

It´s a difference because when someone ask you a question you know what that person is after. If a person are in need you know how to help. When you walk by someone at the street there is no clear thing you should or should not do. The other thing could be about control, you feel you give the answers, at the streets its too unclear.