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enz
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17 Jan 2019, 6:49 pm

I'm sick of him subtlety saying he's smarter than me. An example hinting that he will be great at smash bros while I am just of average intelligence and skill and will be always average. Though because I have more experience than him he still can't win a single game against me and doesn't have the motivation to ever surpass me.

I'm sick of him "wanting to talk" on skype so he can talk about who he's networked with or how he's going places and how he's exited about the future

At the moment I'm just keeping him at bay. When he "wants to chat" I just ignore him and when he contacts me on messenger I don't reply instantly. I will bump into him monthly at the smash bros group and at the in the indie game design group. What do I do?



BeaArthur
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17 Jan 2019, 7:08 pm

What do you want to do?


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enz
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17 Jan 2019, 7:18 pm

Avoid him as much as possible



BeaArthur
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17 Jan 2019, 7:32 pm

Well, I think you just answered your own question.


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Summer_Twilight
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13 Feb 2019, 8:50 am

enz wrote:
I'm sick of him subtlety saying he's smarter than me. An example hinting that he will be great at smash bros while I am just of average intelligence and skill and will be always average. Though because I have more experience than him he still can't win a single game against me and doesn't have the motivation to ever surpass me.

I'm sick of him "wanting to talk" on skype so he can talk about who he's networked with or how he's going places and how he's exited about the future

At the moment I'm just keeping him at bay. When he "wants to chat" I just ignore him and when he contacts me on messenger I don't reply instantly. I will bump into him monthly at the smash bros group and at the in the indie game design group. What do I do?


If he asks you why, just tell him, "I'm sorry but I feel like that every time we interact, you tend to drop hints that you think you are better than I am. As a result, I don't we are compatible" then just walk away.



serpentari
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13 Feb 2019, 9:43 am

well, if u are feeling that person is trying to fix their own self-esteem at ur expense, then ya, tell them to f**k off, or even ghost them, if first option seems hard to execute. explaining ur feelings to them might not work, because ppl of that type dont tend to bother about ur feelings. all they need is to rub their own ego, so dont allow that, which u are allready doing))) u apparently have a good sense of "when to duck", so trust it)


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Prometheus18
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13 Feb 2019, 10:22 am

I don't see how any adult can derive self esteem from being good at some silly children's videogame; in keeping with this, I don't see how an adult can feel self-loathing as a result of being bad at the same video game.



Jenine
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13 Feb 2019, 2:26 pm

I suggest that maybe you should tell him you don't want to be his friend anymore. You can put it in a delicate manor or be brunt about it. The way you say it and how you're feeling at the time is your choice. Your story kinda reminds me of the toxic friends I had back in my early-20's. One lady whom I talked to was from Kenya. I found out that she and her family (particularly the older adults plus her niece, which was her sister's eldest daughter from a previous marriage) held prejudiced beliefs against Asians and certain groups of people of African descent (including African Americans). Yet, the only people they really liked were non-Jewish whites and blacks and felt like the only type of men I could date was black or white because I'm a mixture of the two. Then, once I revealed to them what they already knew about me, which was that I am Autistic, they started openly treating me differently in a way. I finally ended my friendship with those people after accidentally signing a warrant for her sister's son-in-law's license to be suspended. They said they had to tell their lawyer that I had a disability and from there I decided not to come around anymore and told the lady (not her sister) that I don't think we could be friends anymore because of what I did.

Looking back, I should've ended my friendship with them well before 2018. I should've stopped talking to that woman once I realized she held prejudiced views against certain people and said things to me that I didn't particularly like. If I was smart, I would've stopped talking to her and dropped out of the class we took together and told the admissions people that I encountered a racist classmate. Getting back to your toxic friend here, if he knows about your disability, he's just rubbing it in your face that he's better than you at everything because of who you are. Like my toxic former "friends", he sounds condescending but you may not know it until you meet him the first time.



Ichinin
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13 Feb 2019, 3:36 pm

Prometheus18 wrote:
I don't see how any adult can derive self esteem from being good at some silly children's videogame; in keeping with this, I don't see how an adult can feel self-loathing as a result of being bad at the same video game.


Same here.


My advice, just stop talking to the guy, like 100%. You are enabling his behavior, let him find some other outlet.


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BeaArthur
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14 Feb 2019, 12:57 am

I don't think I would come right out and tell this person you don't want to be their friend or anything, especially since you see them monthly at that social group you go to. Just don't respond to their messages online, and in person, be as unresponsive as possible. People do eventually get the message and move on.

This person acting like you aren't as good at the game as they are, could just be "trash talking" which is normative in some circles. In other words, they may not really feel that way, they just have a limited set of social skills and think that oneupmanship is the way to go.


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