Board index › Coping in life › Social Skills and Making Friends

"Get the hint, I am not interested."

Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,252

26 Apr 2019, 6:45 am

This morning on the bus, I was sitting down reading my phone and there happened to be a man who sat next to me. (This is a different man from the one I talked about earlier).
Though there have been several times where he had been bumping and grinding with me and saying "How are you?" "See you later." I have no problem with people saying these things but I have seen him bump and grind into me. Today, he sat next to me and I firmly told him, "Get the hint, I am not interested in you" and moved away. I also did what I could to try and avoid him.

I want to know -Did I misread the flirting for someone who was trying to be friendly? If I misjudged him could someone point that out?

That didn't work because he sought me out afterward and figuratively got into my face in a very intimidating to me. "Excuse me you, keep your smart comments to yourself. I am not interested in you either, I am just riding the train." I felt like he had stepped over my boundaries and told him, "I did not give you any comments." I shouted at him, "Do not ever abuse me again."

Any thoughts on his anger?



Sahn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jan 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,503
Location: UK

26 Apr 2019, 7:31 am

Who says "I'll see you later" after such a minor exchange? It's not like you had a conversation or anything.

I think you read the situation well and dealt with it well too. He'll probably stew on it for a short while then dismiss you as crazy. Most importantly, he will probably avoid further contact.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,252

26 Apr 2019, 8:28 am

domineekee wrote:
Who says "I'll see you later" after such a minor exchange? It's not like you had a conversation or anything.

I think you read the situation well and dealt with it well too. He'll probably stew on it for a short while then dismiss you as crazy. Most importantly, he will probably avoid further contact.


I thought I heard other people telling him to call down or perhaps I heard the police at the station catching him. As for him avoiding me, I hope he does because I will be avoiding him. :lol:



evilsithwraith666
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 25 Apr 2015
Posts: 53

26 Apr 2019, 10:28 am

I think at this point it’s less about offending people and more about learning what’s safe and what’s not. I normally find people who repeatedly test boundaries to be moral-less, if they bump into you one way-what’s to stop them from going further? Better to nip it in the bud



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,252

26 Apr 2019, 10:53 am

evilsithwraith666 wrote:
I think at this point it’s less about offending people and more about learning what’s safe and what’s not. I normally find people who repeatedly test boundaries to be moral-less, if they bump into you one way-what’s to stop them from going further? Better to nip it in the bud


I will do myself a favor to avoid him as much as possible and every time he keeps persuing me, I will whip out my phone and discretely report him to the transit police and keep the operators on the busses and trains notified. He looks like he can be nasty.



Trueno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2017
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,788
Location: UK

26 Apr 2019, 11:06 am

evilsithwraith666 wrote:
I think at this point it’s less about offending people and more about learning what’s safe and what’s not. I normally find people who repeatedly test boundaries to be moral-less, if they bump into you one way-what’s to stop them from going further? Better to nip it in the bud


Absolutely this. Stay safe.


_________________
Steve J

Unkind tongue, right ill hast thou me rendered
For such desert to do me wreak and shame


Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,252

26 Apr 2019, 6:05 pm

Trueno wrote:
evilsithwraith666 wrote:
I think at this point it’s less about offending people and more about learning what’s safe and what’s not. I normally find people who repeatedly test boundaries to be moral-less, if they bump into you one way-what’s to stop them from going further? Better to nip it in the bud


Absolutely this. Stay safe.


I am going to sit in a different part of the bus and listen to music in my headphones and just avoid him altogether. If he tries to pursue me, I will use the marta police app and tell the bus drivers.



BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,798

27 Apr 2019, 5:28 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
This morning on the bus, I was sitting down reading my phone and there happened to be a man who sat next to me. (This is a different man from the one I talked about earlier).
Though there have been several times where he had been bumping and grinding with me and saying "How are you?" "See you later." I have no problem with people saying these things but I have seen him bump and grind into me. Today, he sat next to me and I firmly told him, "Get the hint, I am not interested in you" and moved away. I also did what I could to try and avoid him.

What do you mean by bumping and grinding?


_________________
A finger in every pie.


Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,252

29 Apr 2019, 8:10 am

BeaArthur wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
This morning on the bus, I was sitting down reading my phone and there happened to be a man who sat next to me. (This is a different man from the one I talked about earlier).
Though there have been several times where he had been bumping and grinding with me and saying "How are you?" "See you later." I have no problem with people saying these things but I have seen him bump and grind into me. Today, he sat next to me and I firmly told him, "Get the hint, I am not interested in you" and moved away. I also did what I could to try and avoid him.

What do you mean by bumping and grinding?


Oh, he would make a habit of running ahead of me and bumping into me so he could talk to me. "See you later," "Hi, etc. I have no problem with being polite and nor do I think he was evil. I think he probably was looking for something more but I was not interested like that.



Sahn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jan 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,503
Location: UK

29 Apr 2019, 8:21 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
BeaArthur wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
This morning on the bus, I was sitting down reading my phone and there happened to be a man who sat next to me. (This is a different man from the one I talked about earlier).
Though there have been several times where he had been bumping and grinding with me and saying "How are you?" "See you later." I have no problem with people saying these things but I have seen him bump and grind into me. Today, he sat next to me and I firmly told him, "Get the hint, I am not interested in you" and moved away. I also did what I could to try and avoid him.

What do you mean by bumping and grinding?


Oh, he would make a habit of running ahead of me and bumping into me so he could talk to me. "See you later," "Hi, etc. I have no problem with being polite and nor do I think he was evil. I think he probably was looking for something more but I was not interested like that.

Eh? I'm pretty sure that bumping and grinding is a raunchy Caribbean style of dance! :lol:
Anyway, I hope your commute has been without incident Summer_Twilight



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,252

29 Apr 2019, 8:50 am

domineekee wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
BeaArthur wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
This morning on the bus, I was sitting down reading my phone and there happened to be a man who sat next to me. (This is a different man from the one I talked about earlier).
Though there have been several times where he had been bumping and grinding with me and saying "How are you?" "See you later." I have no problem with people saying these things but I have seen him bump and grind into me. Today, he sat next to me and I firmly told him, "Get the hint, I am not interested in you" and moved away. I also did what I could to try and avoid him.

What do you mean by bumping and grinding?


Oh, he would make a habit of running ahead of me and bumping into me so he could talk to me. "See you later," "Hi, etc. I have no problem with being polite and nor do I think he was evil. I think he probably was looking for something more but I was not interested like that.

Eh? I'm pretty sure that bumping and grinding is a raunchy Caribbean style of dance! :lol:
Anyway, I hope your commute has been without incident Summer_Twilight


I didn't know what else to call it and yes it was because I elected to
1. Sit in a different part of the bus
2. Listen to music in my headphones which helped a lot today



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,121
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

30 Apr 2019, 4:00 am

He’a a total douche.



BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,798

30 Apr 2019, 8:57 am

domineekee wrote:
Eh? I'm pretty sure that bumping and grinding is a raunchy Caribbean style of dance! :lol:

I don't know if it's Caribbean, but I think it's universally meant to imply raunchy, specifically with some gyration of the hips and pelvis in a sexually suggestive way. As such, I don't think it's really what Summer meant. A man "bumping and grinding" at me in a subway is a whole lot different than running ahead to "bump into" me.


_________________
A finger in every pie.