Boundaries vs Trust

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(It's TUF. I'm breaking this down without talking about football)

This is basically what the issue is.

I suspect my stepdad is basically HFA but old so undiagnosed. He acts very aspie (and embarrassing) in an extroverted way where he trusts everyone in the world. He doesn't understand social roles like how it's seen if a woman does something versus a man or how you're not meant to just randomly talk to strangers.

I'm socially anxious. He thinks it's ok to push me towards someone. If I'm across the room from someone, he tells me to go and talk to them because they looked at me or waved at me or whatever. It feels coercive and it feels rude if I say no.

I feel like the last time that has ever been ok is at 15 when I was wanting a girlfriend and a friend would say 'she's interested, go and talk to her'. Other than that, it's what a little kid gets told by parents at a play park. It's dangerous to randomly talk to strangers like my stepdad wants. But is it that dangerous at my age? That's my confusion.

Mum told me not to talk to people. I took that literally being aspie which is silly, she lets me talk to the woman in the café and she doesn't mind me going to college or whatever. Because she attacked my specialist interest I took it to heart too much. I think what she means is, don't approach blokes you don't know just because they look at you. Because she doesn't have issues with it outside of that. But my stepdad thinks that's ok and keeps encouraging me to do it. I'm scared of offending him or of offending the bloke who might be OK. These guys might actually want platonic friendship or they might be creeps. I don't know because they're strangers. That scares the hell out of me which is unfortunate because I'd really like a platonic friendship with them.

These guys are like 60. I was molested as a teenager by a guy with a similar interest so I get scared bonding with old guys with that interest. That guy said he was doing it with me because I wanted to be a boy and he really wanted a boy and everyone else was having boys. I still look like a teenage boy. Yes I know it's ok because I'm 30 but I'm really not into them and I feel like the age gap makes it not really OK. I feel like I'm being coerced.

What do I do so I can mix with these guys while not sending off signals that I'm a straight girl seeking a sugar daddy?

I'm out but I don't feel like blokes over 60 really believe in lesbians when the lesbian is too friendly with them. Yes, I know that's a stereotype but I have a lot of trust issues.