Finding out what's a hot button for people

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Hi:
I had wanted to know what would be the best way to find out which buttons are hot in regards to other people. Yesterday, I went swimming with a neighbor who is also autistic and we were talking about doing some fun things together. He used to go to this amusement park in my city. I asked him if he would like to go and when would he like to. Next thing, he got out of the pool and shut down for several minutes. It turns out that he is banned from there because he did something that the park staff and security did not approve of.

How do I find out when someone is going to be hot button so I know to stay away from those topics that make people upset.

You can't know, unless you already know the person pretty well. Some mistakes are unavoidable.

Unfortunately, it's a trial-and-error thing ... mostly error ...

Basically, you're not psychic. How were you to know this?

I had no way of knowing my neighbor friend was banned from that amusement park since he never told me until I brought it up. He would get a pass and go every year in the past so I just assumed there was not a problem.

This kind of situation is unavoidable, and they happen to non-autistic people too. The best that you can do is to let them know that you understand why it makes them feel that way, apologise for bringing up a painful subject, and reassure them that you'll try your best to be sensitive about it in the future.

Okay, I will let them know that.

In that particular situation, unless you were telepathic, precognitive or stalking, there was no way for anyone, neurotypical or autism , to have known he got banned from the amusement park

I did not know that he got banned from there until I saw him suddenly get out of the pool. When I went up to try and ask him, which was my bad, she hit himself and shut down for several minutes before telling me that he is not allowed to go back and can't tell me why because his mom told him not to tell anyone.