Client at counseling center acting like he owned the place
Yesterday, I went to go meet with my counselor, who I have just found very supportive. Lately, though, we both have had other things in our lives. The situation with her has been very strange the last three weeks but I don't feel like going too deeply into it, but there was a lack of communication. So I will cut to the chase but this situation makes my blood boil an
Long story short, my counselor canceled our appointment for the second week in a row and I was trying to talk to the personnel when this man can over and started lecturing me about how he knew I was frustrated and understood that I was upset. That said, it was making him upset and that it was inappropriate for me to be talking about my situation for others to hear. Rather, I should go talk privately to the supervisor behind closed doors.
I asked if he was the supervisor and he said that no he was a client and he tried to walk away thinking he was justified. So I said, "Wow," which resulted in him to stop dead in his tracks and turn around and give me a cold and hostile stare. "You gonna talk to me some more?" I told him to worry about himself. "I am worried about myself you want me to get the supervisor and the manager because I will." I said, "Go ahead, you're pushing my buttons." He said something else and I said, "Leave me alone!"
Meanwhile, the staff on site came, witnessed this moved me to another location while they did not put their feet down with him. When I asked them what they thought, "I am not going to give my opinion on that."
I wonder if the client at the counseling center had anger management issues and the reason why he was there was because he was trying to get counseling to deal with these issues.
There is a term called "road rage". Many time when you drive in a large city, there is need to temper your response. Someone cuts you off, but rather than honking your horn, you just let it be.
_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."
Note: I am not posting this to look for sympathy but rather I wanted to know if there was some unwritten rule that I missed in order to get him upset.
JimmyEatWorld- I was not even talking to him, to begin with, and in my mind, it makes me wonder if he is one of those intimate terrorists that are responsible for domestic abuse and controlling woman. So maybe he could be there getting psychotherapy.
That would be my take, he was there for therapy. A counseling center would be a location where there would be a greater number of volatile individuals, a great number of hurting individuals. You didn't need to talk to him. His world is entirely wrapped up into him, not your world. Your actions did not take into account all the other patients that were also under stress. The other patients that had been waiting for hours to see the counselor and their appointments potentially were also about to be cancelled.
I will try to give you an analogy. I will paint a picture for your mind to try and explain the mechanism that occurred.
Have you ever been in a room with a number of happy babies. One baby would tear up and start to cry and then this would upset another child and before you knew it, the whole room was filled with crying babies.
Your distress caused his distress. In a way he was about to have a meltdown.
_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."
Thanks, Jimmy_M:
I had a meltdown myself that day because this was the second week that my counselor was not available and it had been more than 6 months of us meeting on a weekly basis. She also had been communicating with me less and less and made assumptions. Plus there was a lack of communication from the counseling center who I feel she could have emailed and let them call me in advance so I could make adjustments. It turns out that she is on leave due to health issues that sound like they are getting worse.
In the end, I decided to switch counselors because I needed someone who would be able to meet on a consistent basis. So I now see someone at an earlier time where there are fewer people and I won't have to see him. I also talked about this to my counselor and she said that for whatever reasons, I said things that pushed a button for him.
Summer: You did absolutely nothing wrong and in fact you were defending yourself which is the way I would've handled it and I think most people would have. Certainly here in NYC. I see Jimmy's point about letting it go but I actually disagree w/him. If you were a hetero male there's a decent chance you might've shoved or hit him or something and alot of women would've done the same. He was WAY out of line and what you say about him butting into your personal business and then trying to tell you what to do yes sounds like he's got some (maybe serious) mental health issues and he's being a pig-headed chauvinistic guy.
On top of that the way the clinic staff handled the situation sounds to me not only unprofessional but irresponsible and patronizing. They moved you not him which is kind of outrageous when (contra Jimmy's view) HE'S causing the disturbance by doing and saying all the things he did. He's not a baby and you're a grown woman so what the f**k gives him the right to stick his runny nose into your affairs tell you what to do and cause you to have a meltdown? He should control his own sorry ass. And what kind of health care professionals take his side when he's harrassing you and them? He's frankly lucky they didn't call some kind of security or the cops. And I'm tempted to say don't just switch therapists switch clinics. But I'm guessing that's not an option you want or are able to pursue.
The silver lining I guess is you got a reliable therapist at a less busy time. Hope it all works out!
breaks0:
I was already having a meltdown because of the previous therapist not only being unreliable lately but also due to her lack of communication and poor assumptions that I would automatically use after the sprung it on me a few days before when I had other things going on in my life. There was also no communication with the rest of the staff regarding her leave of absence in which they do not contact me to let me know what was going on so I could work with the temporary staff to know what's going on.
In terms of the way they handled him, the staff who moved with me agreed later on that he was abusive and had no right to do what he did and said they did report him to the upper management about his bad behavior. That said, I tried to talk to them about it and they kept pushing me out the door. "Is your ride here yet?" I did email the director about that. Otherwise, I like that clinic because their therapists seem to be very well trained. This new woman is great and she seemed to have good insight on something last week.
I was already having a meltdown because of the previous therapist not only being unreliable lately but also due to her lack of communication and poor assumptions that I would automatically use after the sprung it on me a few days before when I had other things going on in my life. There was also no communication with the rest of the staff regarding her leave of absence in which they do not contact me to let me know what was going on so I could work with the temporary staff to know what's going on.
In terms of the way they handled him, the staff who moved with me agreed later on that he was abusive and had no right to do what he did and said they did report him to the upper management about his bad behavior. That said, I tried to talk to them about it and they kept pushing me out the door. "Is your ride here yet?" I did email the director about that. Otherwise, I like that clinic because their therapists seem to be very well trained. This new woman is great and she seemed to have good insight on something last week.
Summer: Yes I see now. That's pretty irresponsible of her then since she basically left you and the counseling center's staff in the dark. It's good that they reported him but it does sounds that they were both trying to avoid conflict but also any inconvenience to themselves by not spending more time on your concerns. That's at best impolite but imo still somewhat irresponsible of them since you had a legit concern and they're "pushing you out the door" as you put it. I'm glad however that your new therapist is working out for you. I have 2 therapists and the ASD specialist one is especially good since she's very methodical w/the CBT they use which seems to be working for me. Take care!
This new lady happens to be a mother of an adolescent who is autistic but she doesn't look at me in broken light. Rather, she was looking at what's positive and possible.
Now regarding that man who was nasty to me, I am not worried about him because:
1. I now attend the center in the afternoon and he seemed to be there in the evening
2. Since he picked on me in the clinic, I am sure one of the first people to hear about him what his maladaptive behavior was probably his therapist. Believe me, if he did anything to me or to other clients, all his counselor would have to do is break confidentiality and go to the police about him.
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