I have horrible social anxiety! :(
I'm a 20 year old girl with Autism. Because I have Autism, I get extremely nervous to the point where i'm scared to death and I have a panic attack when I see someone again who I haven't seen in a really long time. What I mean by that is i'll be shaking really bad, and running away and hiding from the person i'm reuniting with after years of not seeing them. I just get really nervous to hear their voice again and things like that. So basically, I get nervous whenever i'm experiencing something i'm not used to.
In middle school, I had the sweetest, most caring and nurturing computer teacher. She was my favorite teacher of all time, and I was also her favorite student because I have always been really smart and a good student, plus i'm really good with computers. I was also very sweet to her, which she has always appreciated and loved about me. I had(and still have) such a special bond with her and she and I are still really great friends today. However, I haven’t seen her since I was in middle school(7 years ago).
I asked her if I could see her again and she said I could spend the day at her house, so i'm supposed to go to her house in a couple weeks and spend the day there. I'm really looking forward to seeing her again, but I haven’t seen her in years, so I'm WAY too nervous to see her! I’m SCARED to see her! I’m shaking really bad right now just thinking about it! I’m not used to seeing her and it’s going to feel really weird seeing her again!
I’ve told her how painfully nervous and scared I am to see her, and she told me that I don't need to be scared or nervous around her and that she’s really excited to see me. I’m nervous to hear her voice again(she has a really high pitched, sweet voice and she’s naturally soft spoken). Her voice IS really cute and adorable(she sounds like Fluttershy from My Little Pony), but I'm not used to hearing her voice anymore and I'm nervous to hear it again. I haven’t heard her voice since I was in middle school! Not only that, but I get extremely nervous for a person’s really excited reaction to seeing me again for the first time in a long time, and I'm extremely nervous for HER excited reaction to seeing me again! I’m nervous to see her all happy when she sees me and for the big hug she’s going to give me! It’ll feel extremely weird HUGGING someone I haven’t even seen in person in years!
How can I feel less scared and nervous than I already am so that I won’t be running away and hiding from her when I see her? Is there a way to not be so nervous and scared? I am having a really bad panic attack right now because I'm going to see her in only a couple weeks and it’s going to feel so weird seeing her! It’s not shyness that’s making me feel this way(I'm actually really talkative and outgoing)! I just struggle with things I'm not used to! It’s very hard for me! Are there any methods I can try to not feel so nervous about seeing her again? I want to be able to talk to her without feeling scared or nervous, shaking or having a panic attack. My heart is beating so hard right now! I’M SO SCARED! PLEASE HELP ME IN THIS SITUATION!
Welcome to Wrong Planet.
There are several methods to help with a panic attack. Panic attacks come from stress. Stress is accumulative and if you can vent the stress it will help in avoiding a panic attack.
So one method is called deep breathing.
One technique for controlling panic is to implement deep breathing techniques. Force the body to take very deep slow breathes and vent the carbon dioxide buried deep within the lungs. Deep diaphragmatic breathing can be performed as follows:
1. Take a long, slow breath in through your nose, first filling your lower lungs, then your upper lungs.
2. Hold your breath to the count of "three."
3. Exhale slowly through pursed lips, while you relax the muscles in your face, jaw, shoulders, and stomach.
A second method is called the Vagal Maneuver.
One of the techniques used to produce a Vagal Maneuver is called Cold Water Treatment or Cold Stimulus to the Face. This is done by placing an icepack or a bag of ice or a washcloth soaked in ice water on your face for 15 seconds. Or you can immerse your face in icy cold water for several seconds. It might also work to step into a cold shower or a cold bath. This creates a physiological response similar to a person being submerged in cold water (Diver’s Reflex).
So when you visit your former teacher just bring a cold ice pack along with you and if you feel you are falling into a panic attack, place it on your face for a few seconds until you snap out of it.
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Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
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