Leaving a Meet Up group

Post Reply New Topic

I've decided to leave the Meet Up group I used to attend on a semi-regular basis. I am sick of getting pushed to the background at the events and for being the odd man out just because I don't f*****g drink alcohol.

Not sure what kind of comments you are expecting here. You've griped about that group repeatedly and it looks to me like leaving it behind is a kind of growth experience for you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with "moving on" when a situation is not meeting your needs.

I see it as more that I truly don't fit in anywhere and maybe I do need to resign to being unhappy and alone until I close my eyes for good. I just hope my ex-friends never find out about me since I last had any sort of communication with them.

Well, I tried to put a positive spin on leaving the group, and you put a negative spin on it.

Which spin feels better to you?

I feel like I've missed something...

I don't drink when I'm out. It's too expensive. I'll have a gin and tonic once in a blue moon, but mostly I just have a soft drink.

I don't feel like anyone treats me differently because of it.

Is it the kind of bars that they're going to that you don't like?

You don't live in the f*****g Bible Belt. That is why you aren't treated like s**t for not drinking.

They are laughing now but they won't be when they have damage to their livers while others might experience alcohol poisoning. One thing I have heard is that you can have a drink that's fixed up to look like it's alcoholic when it's completely innocent which you could try at the next meet up. All the while, you don't say anything.

Examples
1. If you like coke, you could always go to the bartender and have them fix your drink in glass that rum and coke are served in with a lime wedge.
2. You could also bring along some sparkling apple cider and pour it into a beer glass
3. Even club soda and seltzer water with a lime wedge will go a long way

Try that and if they can't accept you because of the way you are then they aren't worthy of you and it didn't sound that they are not that.

I have also read several of your posts where people give you the "That's cool," response. I had read that it's a polite but passive-aggressive way of saying, "I don't want to talk to you because I am not interested." I had read that when someone talks to you with the phony high voice
"That's awesome," "Oh wow," it's a good idea to use polite comebacks

1. You can copy their body language
2. "I see I am making you uncomfortable. Let me come back when you are more at ease."

Is there any chance you can possibly eventually move to a more favorable location?

If that's not possible, might it be possible for you to organize, perhaps with help from your family, some sort local network of "clean & sober" people? Such people may be scarce in your neck of the woods but surely they do exist???

i wouldn't belong to any group that wouldn't have me. those drunks sound like a bunch of hemorrhoids to me. best avoid that crowd. one must get used to being an outlier.

I honestly don't want to live much longer because I already feel like my life is over. Sure, I am still functioning biologically but as far as advancing socially, those chances are gone.

If you don't want to be part of a group, because you don't drink, then leave it. If you don't like where you live - move (or work towards it) . You are the only person who can drive your life where you want it to go. No one can do that for you.

Have you ever considered starting your own meetup group? It's something I am considering myself.

No.