I suck at social skills.

Post Reply New Topic

Uhh, so today a person recognized me at work...and I was trying to place who they were, and couldn't come up with anything to say before they ended up heading back to whatever it was they were doing.

She was like 'I'm surprised to see you here' and couldn't place her but then recognized she used to work at a gas station/convenience store I went to when I was living in another place. But I totally fumbled and was trying to recognize her then when I did I couldn't think of anything to say so I just looked at her awkwardly probably...so she went back to her work but I hope I didn't hurt her feelings or anything, just caught me off guard and so didn't know what to say.

I feel it would be clunky to try to apologize, so maybe I can just try to make a point to be friendly to her at some point but I just felt bad I made it so awkward. Could have been a chance to be friendly with an acquaintance but kind of failed that one. Maybe she just thinks I'm shy or bad with words, just hope she doesn't think I was trying to be rude.

I find that I'm getting better at that sort of interaction, even at my age.

facial recognition and memory for names definitely sub-par. that seriously crimps social success.

I'm often amazed that people recognize/remember me...and I have no idea who they are, or what I did that they even remember me.
At work, we have the computer function of "people search", so one can look up the face of a colleague, usually in another office who one seldom sees but may interact with on the phone or via email. I can't even be bothered to care what these people look like, but when I'm in another office people will approach me and start talking like they know me. Because they looked me up, it seems they expect I looked them up and should know who they are. It can be a little awkward.
Then there are colleagues I see and know, but sometimes forget or am not sure if they are the same person.

Well yeah I was trying to recognize who she was, but by then it was already kind of awkward, so I wasn't able to really come up with a response and then the interaction was over. I have gotten better with some things but it just caught me off guard and so I didn't know how to respond especially because I didn't recognize her at first.

I mean I got a thrift store job, so they are certainly more tolerant of akwardness and disability issues, I still just worry about coming off as different than I am. Like I can be just painfully quiet to the extent sometimes people don't even notice me or maybe they do but just assume I want to be left alone so they don't bother me. But like I do have thoughts and ideas its just hard for me to express it around new people or when there are a lot of people around...so I worry about just seeming like a blank slate when I do have things to talk about...because I am anxious about expressing myself especially in a new situation so I just end up being really quiet. I don't want to but its like the defualt state of myself when I am learning a new situation and no matter what it still takes me some time to get more comfortable to where I can talk to people a bit more easily.

^^^and the lions' share of folk don't make it easy at all.

The intent and timing are more important than the execution. If you try to be sociable most NTs can pick on that and that is all they really care bout.

I would just say, "I'm sorry, I'm very bad with remembering names and faces, could you please tell me your name again?" and then, after she tells you, "I'll probably have to ask you several times again before I'm finally able to remember."

Right, I'd say something like this. Better than keeping them guessing why you're not talking to them. They may ask themselves if you remember them and don't like them.

I get this often... I have had it for years. It is called prosoprognosia, or faceblindness. I also can get it trying to remember names as well so people completely disappear. I greet everyone as if tey are friends so I don't upset anyone. I have often had entire conversations with people who know me and I don't have a clue who they are to this day! Others I may work out who they are a few months or several years later, as I sometimes bring back the occasions into my mind to try to work out who they are.
In a similar way I can also think I know people when I don't.

Now some peoples faces which I have gone out of my way to learn them, which takes much time staring at them (I can't do this while in conversation as I have difficulty in listening and looking at the same time, and can't always think to speak if I am looking if that makes sense?) The problem is people do not like me staring at them... (Hide the binoculas! Joking!) so I rarely do it.

Now a strange thing I can do that others can't do. I can see several mechanical identical things like railway locomotives, bicycles or cars etc, and I can pick out an individual one and get it right... But if you ask me how I habe done this I would not have a clue what my mind has picked up on to do this... I can't always do it, but when I have I have often surprized myself! It often leaves me staring at them all to work out what I am looking at wheee one maybe different, but I can't find any differences. Strange isn't it!