Update: Is this a real apology?

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Recently, I had gotten a sympathy card with a letter from an ex-friend who decided turned cut ties with me 5 years ago. In it, she practically built me up by talking about how "Sorry" she really was and talked about how she trying to make some self-improvements. She also talked about following some dream of hers while acknowledging my aunt's death. That said, it took her 4 months to even respond. Anyway, the barely acknowledged my by telling me she had heard through the grapevine of what I am doing work-wise while not bothering to ask how I am doing. Instead, she told me that she didn't think it's a good idea for us to be friends but wants us to be at peace with each other or be polite with no expectation of us being friends

I had responded by telling her that it was not a real apology and had asked her to call me back and had even given her my number along with sendind her a letter. Yet, she never responded.

I'm having deja vu. Was this talked about somewhere else? Was it you, or another?

ah, ok

Oh, I am working on that, trust me. The only thing that really bothers me is that she wrote this letter and seemed to let me at the very end that she doesn't want to be my friend in so many words. The other reason it bothered me is that I let her know that my aunt had died but she took a good 4 months to get back to me. Somewhere in the middle of those months, I began to accept it but when I got this letter, my emotions were stirred up again.

She didn't even do that, instead, she said she was sorry for not knowing how to be a friend. Other than that, it was about how she is making these improvements in her life and has learned to like herself and not wallow in self-pity. Then she talked about how she making this dream of hers happen to help other hurting people. 90% of that letter was all about her. Even when she acknowledged my aunt's death, she mainly talked about how she was such a good benefit in her life. It was "Me, Me, Me." Actually, she also is a member of WP and admitted to following a few of my posts of the WP and talked about "How proud she is of me" but didn't really want to about my line of work. This was before she told me that she doesn't want to be my friend.

I was mad and called her and messages her on Facebook and asked her to call me up and agree to meet in person with a third person there who can help us sort this out. Yet, she ignored that.

I decided to write her a letter back with a birthday card since her birthday was coming up along with apologizing for holding a grudge against her because I have the tendency to worry what others think of me. I also told her why I think the relationship is unhealthy. Whereas she thinks we have nothing in common along with a huge age difference, I felt differently.
1. She tends to push my buttons as she did with this last letter
2. She has always been green with envy towards me and tends to compete with me and try to make me envious of her when she gets things that I want.
3. She has a small mind and the bit of a bad attitude about people with autism and disabilities in general

She didn't even respond to that. What are the unwritten rules here?

You may not like or respect her feeling on this, or what she wrote, but the fact is she is done and continuously contacting her via USPS and facebook is not going to change her mind and may just harden her position. Truly, it's not worth your mental and emotional energy and stress. You're doing nothing but chasing your own tail at this point. The unwritten rule is: walk away.

To Summer_Twilight:

Without a LOT more background, I can't make any well-informed judgment on this matter one way or the other.

But I would suspect that it's probably not appropriate for you to go into this in more detail here, given that you said she's also a WP member. If you still want to write about it here, I think you should ask one of the moderators whether it would be appropriate at all, and, if so, under what conditions.

Red_DogHub

No, I actually did not send her anything via USPS or social media after I accepted it that she was not EVER going to be my friend again. In fact, I finally got settled on finally moving and accepted that is not worth the effort and decided to leave her alone, PERIOD. It was only when she sent me a sympathy card in the wake of my aunt's death with the letter in which she toyed with my emotions by getting my hopes up until the end. This was a few months after I accepted. This was where she made it sound like she wanted to be friends again before letting me know that she doesn't want to.

I only write ONE message via social media and sent one card to her with a letter as well. Otherwise,I have just left her alone. She didn't bother to respond to any of them. What makes it okay for her to send me a card and a letter like that and not me? Yes,I want closure and but it still does not excuse her for being a jerk by pulling a nasty stunt on me