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what do you make of people who are barely polite?

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specialsauce
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27 Jun 2019, 5:25 pm

Say you approach someone and they are not rude to you but they are definitely not friendly. They are polite, but just barely. And once they have done the bare minimum to be polite they will leave. Say this person is someone you know through work. Logically I know ok they don't really want to talk to me. But they don't know me. So maybe they are just busy and don't want to know any new people. That's fine. But it makes me feel bad. I can't help but assume that the reason they are being barely polite is actually because they have assumed some horrible false thing about me being an awful person, and that's why they don't want to know me.

Does anyone else get this and know how to deal with it?



Prometheus18
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27 Jun 2019, 5:29 pm

You'll never be liked by everyone; just carry on going about your business, trying your best to be suitably polite.



BTDT
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27 Jun 2019, 7:54 pm

Sometimes you just have to catch people at the right time. The CEO where I work is often preoccupied with many difficult issues, but he smiled back at me yesterday. With my late social development, that couldn't have happened a decade ago.



Fnord
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27 Jun 2019, 8:03 pm

specialsauce wrote:
What do you make of people who are barely polite? Say you approach someone and they are not rude to you but they are definitely not friendly. They are polite, but just barely. And once they have done the bare minimum to be polite they will leave. Say this person is someone you know through work. Logically I know ok they don't really want to talk to me. But they don't know me. So maybe they are just busy and don't want to know any new people. That's fine. [...] Does anyone else get this and know how to deal with it?
You have described me on a typical day at work, as if there was something wrong with being this way. People like me (and possible your co-worker) prioritize work above friendships with co-workers.
specialsauce wrote:
But it makes me feel bad. I can't help but assume that the reason they are being barely polite is actually because they have assumed some horrible false thing about me being an awful person, and that's why they don't want to know me.
Your feelings are your own and your assumption is invalid. You are being paid to work, not to obsess over what your co-workers are thinking.



shortfatbalduglyman
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27 Jun 2019, 10:11 pm

What's the problem?

That's what I do too



blackomen
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28 Jun 2019, 5:24 pm

I don't have too much of a problem if they're that way to everyone. The ones who are friendly to everyone but single me out for no reason are the most troublesome.


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red_doghubb
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29 Jun 2019, 6:48 pm

better than them yapping away about their life story