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Anyone else dislike High Self-Monitoring people?

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blackomen
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22 Aug 2019, 9:49 am

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-monitoring

High self monitoring: ppl who are prone to changing their behavior depending on the situation they're in

Low self monitoring: people who tend to be themselves regardless of situation.

To be honest, I'm pretty low on self monitoring but I do naturally practice it a little though much less than the average person. I don't have a problem with people with an average level of self monitoring but am extremely turned off by high self monitors.


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Fnord
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22 Aug 2019, 9:52 am

I would have to hate myself, then. Self-monitoring is important if you want to get and keep a job or get and keep a relationship. It sucks to have to do that -- the conscious effort alone is exhausting -- but the alternative is to work temporary or part-time jobs (if you can get one) and have no friends at all.



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22 Aug 2019, 10:08 am

Only in absolutely necessary situations, like the ones Fnord mentioned. As I aged, I need to do it less and less, thanks God.

But if you refer to what we used to call "social chameleons" - folks who change their views, opinions, manner etc to always fit in with/please whoever is around, I can't stand those either.


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22 Aug 2019, 9:31 pm

BenderRodriguez wrote:
Only in absolutely necessary situations, like the ones Fnord mentioned. As I aged, I need to do it less and less, thanks God.

But if you refer to what we used to call "social chameleons" - folks who change their views, opinions, manner etc to always fit in with/please whoever is around, I can't stand those either.


^This.

There's also the fact that I naturally act differently around people I know and trust than I do with strangers. It's not pretending or anything since it's automatic.



NeilM
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23 Aug 2019, 1:02 pm

Isn't this the same as what we refer to as masking?


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24 Aug 2019, 3:27 am

NeilM wrote:
Isn't this the same as what we refer to as masking?


I think he's talking about the extreme cases, the people who say one thing around some people and the complete opposite around different people... like those who act homophopic around other such people, but are supportive of the LBGT community when around people who support it.



The Grand Inquisitor
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24 Aug 2019, 3:39 am

Fireblossom wrote:
BenderRodriguez wrote:
Only in absolutely necessary situations, like the ones Fnord mentioned. As I aged, I need to do it less and less, thanks God.

But if you refer to what we used to call "social chameleons" - folks who change their views, opinions, manner etc to always fit in with/please whoever is around, I can't stand those either.


^This.

There's also the fact that I naturally act differently around people I know and trust than I do with strangers. It's not pretending or anything since it's automatic.

Most people naturally act differently around different groups people, in different dynamics. And most of the time it's appropriate to do so.



blackomen
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24 Aug 2019, 10:02 am

Fireblossom wrote:
NeilM wrote:
Isn't this the same as what we refer to as masking?


I think he's talking about the extreme cases, the people who say one thing around some people and the complete opposite around different people... like those who act homophopic around other such people, but are supportive of the LBGT community when around people who support it.


We all do this to some degree unconsciously but it's the people who go out of their way to behave radically differently around different groups that really bothers me. Paradoxically, it actually bothers me less if that person is a politician, celebrity, businessperson, etc than a regular person.


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25 Aug 2019, 2:44 am

blackomen wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
NeilM wrote:
Isn't this the same as what we refer to as masking?


I think he's talking about the extreme cases, the people who say one thing around some people and the complete opposite around different people... like those who act homophopic around other such people, but are supportive of the LBGT community when around people who support it.


We all do this to some degree unconsciously but it's the people who go out of their way to behave radically differently around different groups that really bothers me. Paradoxically, it actually bothers me less if that person is a politician, celebrity, businessperson, etc than a regular person.


Is that because it's part of their job as public figures to keep up certain kind of appearance?